How To Get Trump To Read The News

Meet Chelsea Frei, American hero. While the press and White House staff scramble to try to get Trump to actually read a document or pay attention to a briefing, Chelsea has cracked the code on how to get our ‘president’ to pay attention. The key has been right in front of us this whole time…

Flossing Is Basically A Horror Movie

Why don’t they have commercials for floss? That simple question gave birth to one of the most terrifying horror films of our time. The gals of Aljeshira dared to ask the scariest question: who do you turn to when the monster in the mirror is… yourself??

Do You Have A Gross Female Body? Try a Tampon Cigar! (TM)

Are you a lady? Then whether you have ovaries or not, your body is yucky. And how dare you draw attention to the normal functioning of your internal organs by waving a tampon around!!! Luckily Richelle Meiss and the Circa Laughs team have invented the Tampon Cigar, a disgusting feminine product hidden inside a socially acceptable masculine package!

The Most Important Thing To Check When Buying A Car

There’s a lotta mystery involved in buying a used car. How new is the battery, has it been in any accidents, who’s been driving that sex machine straight to bone town? Luckily Mallory Arkin has the solution! CarFux will show you all the nasty acts that have ever been performed in a car. Do we even need to tell you that this is NSFW?

Female Viagra Is Here! And Of Course, It Blows.

Did you know that there’s already a lil pill on the market that they’re calling the female Viagra? It’s just like male Viagra! Except that it doesn’t work, makes you miserable, and is way more of a hassle to use. Y’know, like most products aimed at women. The dope dames of UCB sketch team Sancho created this way-too-honest drug ad about how pharma markets to women. And it ain’t pretty.

Trump Inspired Pussy Masterpieces

Donald Trump’s candidacy has been very bad for America. People are spouting all kindsa racist bullsh, actual KKK members are swaggering around like they own the place, and women’s right to vote is apparently now on shaky ground (at least according to Twitter). But if there’s one tiny silver lining that has come out of Trump and his pussy-grabbing ways, it’s a ton of unbelievably funny feminist comedy. So here, for your entertainment and education, are our favorite Trump-inspired pussy-power comedy videos. Ya welcome.

First, courtesy of the geniuses of Honest Monster, women tell their most fun and heartwarming pussy grabbing stories:

Next, our girl Davison painted some gorgeous pussy portraits of Trump. No, not portraits of a hypothetical Trump pussy, it’s the other way around.

Of course since pussy grabbing is apparently on the rise, you’re gonna want to prep with some pussy-grab self defense moves.

And finally, the president of comedy Samantha Bee takes it home with a sum-up of the pussy furor that’s swept the nation the last couple of days.

Whew, that was so much comedy it’s exhausting! We’re gonna grab our pussies and get outta here for some well deserved r&r. See you babes for The Donald’s next horrifying comment!

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