Scary Feminist Campfire Tales

Be warned – these stories are verrrrry scary. Almost as scary as going on a first date with a man and not knowing if he might be a murderer! Or waiting alone for the bus at night! Or just basically being a woman always and everywhere! SO SCARY!

Honestly this sketch is everything to us, and it’s even more special knowing that it was made by an extremely dope all woman crew including writer Sydney Steinberg and director Brea Grant. Goddess bless all these spooky geniuses.

Weekly Roundup Of The Funniest Tweets

Whether you’re snowed under or sweating out the drought, we know you need some tasty tweets to make it through the weekend. In fact, you deserve great tweets every week. Why? Because you’re great.

Ok, enjoy!

One cool thing about being a woman is that before I do anything I have to stop and think “will this make me seem crazy?”

— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) December 5, 2016

Also v chill that the answer is usually ‘yes’!

me at the beginning of 2016 vs me at the end of 2016 pic.twitter.com/VxT4WdrfWZ

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) December 9, 2016

Except that now we’re all witches so at least there’s that.

I bet Martin Shkreli is wondering what more he has to do to get appointed to Trump’s cabinet

— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) December 8, 2016

“Idk like be more evil somehow??” – Shkreli to his empty house

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 4, 2016

???

If I were in West World I would probably just admire the costumes and ask where the good restaurants are.

— Sudi Green (@FatJasmineee) December 6, 2016

God damn so true. And also comment on how on-topic the piano songs are.

It was just announced several of the teen dad’s from ‘Teen Mom’ are gonna star in their own spinoff show titled ‘Wear A Condom’.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) December 9, 2016

Finally, a show for the fellas!

*into megaphone*
APPARENTLY I LACK SUBTLETY

— Honky Tonk Angel (@fuzzlime) December 5, 2016

Nah girl you’re good.

Guys, please be careful. Trump might see some of your tweets and it could hurt his feelings.

— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) December 9, 2016

Yeah, tweets like ‘you’re garbage’ and ‘no one respects you’ and that one tweet of his face looking extra stupid. Be a shame if everyone reading this right now tweeted those things.

Pilates with the girls ?? pic.twitter.com/hKByeoT9KW

— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) December 8, 2016

Aka self-care.

one thing i absolutely refuse to do is follow through on a personal project

— Zoë Klar (@zoeklar) December 6, 2016

It’s a matter of principle!

I know magazines are going extinct, but I didn’t know they were committing suicide. pic.twitter.com/tV7I6HVJ4B

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 7, 2016

Boy bye!*

*Time is the boy.

My face is doing nothing today. I look like the canceled PBS series, This Old Bitch.

— Y’assssssss Al Ghul (@beauty_jackson) December 8, 2016

We’d watch the hell out of that with a glass of rosé.

“Who’s got a one hole punch? I wanna file this cake in my binder” – inventor of the donut.

— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) December 9, 2016

WHO WAS THIS GENIUS WHAT WAS HER NAME???

hope men in Ohio become required to have funerals for their cum

— Barbara Gray (@BabsGray) December 8, 2016

10/10 for this perfect tweet.

I feel like we’re living that part of the movie where the superhero is knocked down and the villains have taken over the metropolis.

— Cynthia Kao (@CynthKao) December 9, 2016

And just like the Avengers, we gotta build better armor and recruit some cool sassy teens to the cause.

Curing Womanhood Is Easier Than You’d Think!

Y’know, for all the rah rah goddess you go girl gyno-positive stuff out there, it still sucks to be a woman a lot of the time. It’s still a man’s world, and lots of men don’t love taking women seriously. But there’s good news, ladies! A new product just hit the market that’ll help you feel safe in public places, be heard at work, and be respected by the men in your life. This is our time, ladies!

Can’t Disguise Those Hungry Thighs

It happens to all of us. One minute, you’re a happy, well-adjusted adult woman. The next, your inner thighs are squishing out of your jeans like unbaked croissants.

Luckily our girl Nicole Blume is spreading awareness of this chronic condition that affects 100% of women, and opening our eyes to the dangers of Hungry Thighs.