What’s your new years resolution? It is to be even more of a badass bish and to support even more women in comedy? OMG WHAT that’s ours too!!! But our friends over at Pure & Weary (aka Katherine Biskupic & Leah Frires) have a lot of resolutions that we also strongly agree with. Like eating more green peppers! And throwing more pregnancy tests in the air! It’s gonna be a great year.
Let’s toast to the weekend with some fresh n’ funny 140 character jokes.
Help me understand the thought process of someone who writes “f*cking” instead of “fucking.”
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) July 15, 2016
They’re writing for a comedy website and don’t want their editor to get mad?
I look like the humble wife of a Greek man whose kids (Stelios + Demitris) are at home while I have some “me time”. pic.twitter.com/ECKggZ08bq
— Gena-mour Barrett (@SmileGena) July 17, 2016
Please let Greek-core become a thing, please Fashion Gods, pleeeeaaaase.
The US is that one friend who keeps destabilizing regions, providing shit tons of weapons & then backing terrible leaders for economic gain.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 20, 2016
Hahaha we all have that one friend, right??!?!?!?!?!?
WAKE UP SHEEPLE THIS ENTIRE ELECTION IS A NEW BANKSY!!!!!!
— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) July 20, 2016
My therapist is really good at telling me not to quit stuff and then she quits our session.
— Carmen Lynch (@lynchcarmen) July 20, 2016
You are why I have attachment issues, Debbie!!!
As a transgender woman, I can empathize with online trolls because I, too, have an extremely tiny dick.
— Avery Edison (@aedison) July 20, 2016
This is some NEXT LEVEL SHIT damn girl.
I wanna be so rich that my bed isn’t in the corner of my bedroom
— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) July 16, 2016
Oh why don’t we all just buy furniture that isn’t second hand and covered in cat hair while we’re at it, Richy McMillions??
Is cereal soup?
— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) July 21, 2016
(7 hours until my next obligation) Ugh wish I had time to work out
— Allegra Ringo (@allegraringo) July 20, 2016
I’m just so so busy. *naps*
Thursday evening haiku 2:
I write dumb haikus
I know that I do them wrong
Cactus look like dicks
— Noël Wells (@RealTomHankz) July 22, 2016
Haiku Hot Take
SOS i would kiss ivanka on the mouth
— jamie loftus (@hamburgerphone) July 22, 2016
Lord help you bb.
You know online harassment is the worst when a black woman who thrived for decades in fucking standup clubs says it’s the worst
— Drew (@MostlyPregnant) July 19, 2016
Heyyyyyy Twitter? You gotta be better ok?
“And this is why I am proposing my new ‘Let’s Be Moving Now’ campaign for child un-fatness.” -Melania https://t.co/t8easo5qVa
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) July 19, 2016
Ok, shut it down, this is the best news joke that will ever be made, bye bye now.
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Freshly out of an eating disorder clinic, Nicola needs to find a career and what better one than a health and wellness influencer? This series has so much comedy, ghosts, and Harry Potter, you'll begin to question reality! But don't! Just watch this WhoHaha's Series Spotlight and learn with us that healing is HARD.
Nutritiously Nicola includes references to eating disorders, so those in recovery may want to take care before watching. If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder you can call the NEDA hotline at 1-800-931-2237 and visit their website here.
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