Hi it’s Friday. Excuse us, not sure you heard, IT’S FRIDAYYY!!!
Get the heck up out of that office chair and get some sunshine, baby. Just as soon as you finish reading these perfect tweets, obviously.
I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.
— ʕ୨•̀ᴥ•́ʔ୨ ︵ ¡ǝʇǝd (@awesomonster) July 18, 2017
Bernie would’ve won the game of thrones
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 17, 2017
i have two moods pic.twitter.com/2hvk5vgE26
— harriet pudney (@lqpharriet) July 18, 2017
me: im back on my bullshit lol
narrator: she was, in fact, never off her bullshit in the first place— indie (@COCONUTOILBAE) July 17, 2017
when your server asks if you want dessert pic.twitter.com/Wbjiyrru3Q
— Jenna ☾ (@pichipitsi) July 19, 2017
Y’all keep telling black women 2 be humble & u don’t realize we been keeping it at 5 for your safety but we will bring it to 10 if necessary
— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) July 15, 2017
‘Feminists ruining my childhood’ cry fandoms of DrWho/StarWars/Ghostbusters. Meanwhile little girls cannot safely Google My Little Pony
— Charlotte (@CharlTaylorPage) July 16, 2017
anything that happened more than like 2 weeks ago is a painful memory
— Alyssa Onofreo ✨ (@omgchomp) July 18, 2017
A woman can accomplish anything with red lipstick and a great pair of eels pic.twitter.com/wqFQ7cYXY2
— Alyssa Stonoha (@astonoha) July 19, 2017
This is a poem I wrote for John McCain the night he lost the ’08 election. I was a senior in high school and read it to my entire grade. pic.twitter.com/16R4MMUBHf
— SydSteinberg (@thesteinberglar) July 20, 2017
Her first adventure is politely correcting everyone who calls her “Nurse Who.”
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) July 16, 2017
— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) July 19, 2017
just someone tell me when the fuck to have a baby, I can’t decide this shit on my own (ps do I sound ready???)
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) July 16, 2017
If people are this mad about a woman in a fictional tv show, imagine how angry they’d be if one tried to be president or something
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) July 16, 2017
Google maps: “I won’t even LOOK at a street unless she’s popular”
Waze: “hey one-way alley, you up gurl?”
— Caitlin Gill (@ROBOTCAITLIN) July 19, 2017
The ONLY thing accurate about this horrific flyer is that you definitely can KISS MY CUTE ASS! pic.twitter.com/VueQAzZrWs
— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) July 17, 2017
One of the things I miss most about my 20s is the ability to find any random pile of sweatshirts and ska cds with a dick attractive.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) July 16, 2017
