Nuns. Gone. WILD.

The trailer for The Little Hours just dropped and y’all, it is LIFE. This looks like it’s going to be the most insane, filthy, hysterical movie we’ve seen in forever. The movie is adapted from Bocaccio’s Decameron (lol wut) and stars all of our favorite women as a bunch of potty-mouthed, horny, violent nuns. This is our Star Wars. We’ll be there opening night, in costume.

Ok We Need To Talk About Melissa on SNL

Do the words ‘yaaas queen’ ring a bell?!?! They should, because we’ve been screaming them loud enough for all of America to hear. Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer on SNL was ev. ry. thing. Here’s hoping that this turns into a Baldwin as Trump type situation and she’s back every other week to play the all-American five-head Goebbels.

JK Rowling’s Fieriest Tweets

Alright we need to talk about Joanne for a minute. In these dismal ass times, she is the light that burns in the darkness of Twitter, the champion of all that is shady and great.

Case in point:

Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I’ve still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017

DAMN that is salty. Salty and delicious. Also another case in point:

Guess it’s true what they say: you can lead a girl to books about the rise and fall of an autocrat, but you still can’t make her think. pic.twitter.com/oB7Aq6Xz8M

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 1, 2017

But the truth is, Rowling’s Twitter account has always been a thing of beauty. She does NOT put up with bigotry or injustice, and she fights back with some mighty powerful jokes. So here are a few more glorious tweets from the queen of funny and righteous burns.

.@aboymadeofsky No, Jonathan, I’ve never made a single decision in my life on the basis of whether it was cool.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 9, 2014

The ONLY way to live.

Well, there you have it. A highly intelligent, experienced woman just debated a giant orange Twitter egg. Your move, America. #debate

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 20, 2016

This honestly should have ended the whole nightmare right there, frankly.

Death Eaters walk among us. https://t.co/tqKq1anHpf

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 24, 2016

And they are so much lamer in real life.

.@anakocovic21 Maybe because gay people just look like… people?

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) March 24, 2015

One ? Thousand ? Claps ?

@ChrisDarroch2 and you can’t spell “Slytherin”.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015

Never has a spelling burn been so effective.

.@diegtristan8 “she is built like a man”. Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You’re an idiot. pic.twitter.com/BCvT10MYkI

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 11, 2015

Wish she would ride up like a white knight for all our favorite athletes and actors.

I was born Christian. If that makes Rupert Murdoch my responsibility, I’ll auto-excommunicate. http://t.co/Atw1wNk8UX

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 11, 2015

This is the perfect counter-argument to that dumb ass point.

.@WBCsigns Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2015

SHABOOM! JK’s going nuclear y’all!

.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015

P sure this dude needed aloe more than he needed a wang pump after this.

.@realrossnoble Classic case of a Hufflepuff trying to be edgy. Be who you really are, Ross.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 27, 2014

RESPECT YOUR HOUSE!

There’s a story in today’s Mail that I was in a London bar on Monday ‘celebrating’ handing in a ‘romantic novel’ to my publishers…

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014

1) I haven’t handed in ANY kind of novel to my publishers. I’m only half way through my current book. 2) It isn’t a ‘romantic’ novel.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014

And 3) (brace yourselves) I sometimes have a drink even when I haven’t finished a book. Yes, that’s how rock and roll I really am.

— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014

Honestly she is a perfect person and we couldn’t love her more.

The Realest Break-Up Video

Ain’t no love like Youtube vlogger love. It’s the truest, realest, most passionate, definitely-not-for-clicks love of all find out. And in this super real and totally authentic video from SourceFed, Carrie and Spencer bravely end their relationship conveniently in front of a camera. Wow, powerful stuff.

Nasim As Aziz Is Our Everything

Nasim Pedrad can do literally any impression. Don’t believe us? Check out her Wikipedia page. But one we def didn’t know about is her dead-on impression of Aziz Ansari. It’s a crime that this sketch got cut, because we’d have been watching it every dang morning.