Pardon our French, but we are really freaking ready for this weekend to start. We’re gonna hit Saturday like…
So strap on your boogie shoes, because these extremely funny tweets are gonna get you in the mood to party.
I see the AUTUMN LOVERS are trying to creep in here with their pumpkins and flannel. We must fight, Summer Children. FIGHT!
— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) August 31, 2017
Just learned 3-yr-old has an imaginary friend named “Goop.” Holding back asking her if Goop has advised her to steam her vagina.
— Kay Cannon (@KayKayCannon) August 29, 2017
I think I just made up a new word: “icliterate.” For men who don’t know where the clit is. Has this been done? May I be a millionaire now?
— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) August 29, 2017
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) August 29, 2017
I totally misunderstood “fuck the haters” and have been making passionless love to my enemies for the last five years.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) August 28, 2017
I mean he didn’t discover America but he discovered me https://t.co/Wwwh6x5ZNQ
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) August 29, 2017
It’s so hot in LA it just said “I am kind of a nerd”
— Alexis Novak (@AlexisGirlNovak) July 8, 2017
Why would she wear a sensible heel? She didn’t even marry one.
— jules (@DCjulesdoesLA) August 29, 2017
Satanic ritual to summon the Goodest Boy Ever pic.twitter.com/SkjmjiUB4a
— Kim (@realkimhansen) August 27, 2017
To be fair, @JoelOsteen‘s church was built to provide shelter for taxes, not hurricane victims.
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) August 31, 2017
Poetry is my passion pic.twitter.com/OVHlXLpYbF
— anerol (@linguinni420) August 29, 2017
genie: please no
millipede: more legs— Tami Cru (@TamiCru) August 29, 2017
Idk a diner has never made me feel angry and inadequate 24/7 pic.twitter.com/M3fULSzKdH
— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) August 31, 2017
when Kanye took that VMA from Taylor I was like “oh, weird” not “this will psychologically cripple both artists, driving them to madness”
— caitlin bitzegaio ? (@caitorade) August 27, 2017
Lol this cat looks like it’s going thru a divorce and talking abt it in vanity fair pic.twitter.com/JRblvDnyrB
— Flora Flora ? (@Flora__Flora) August 28, 2017
when Kanye took that VMA from Taylor I was like “oh, weird” not “this will psychologically cripple both artists, driving them to madness”
— caitlin bitzegaio ? (@caitorade) August 27, 2017
I saw the best comedic minds of my generation destroyed by the service industry
Postmating sushi to 23 year old YouTubers
For $2 tips— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) August 31, 2017
Anxiety = never gonna sleep ever
Depression = never gonna wake up ever
Life = THE SHIT IN BETWEEN— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) August 29, 2017
