TODAY IS FRIDAY! Which means this is us to the work week:
via.
Before you roll out of work like the queen that you are, enjoy this week’s roundup of the funniest tweets.
when you remember you saved a snack in your desk but realize it’s a bag of veggie chips pic.twitter.com/fiMUQV455u
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) April 15, 2016
The worst.
A romper? With my pee schedule?
— Allegra Ringo (@allegraringo) April 15, 2016
The struggle of anyone with a tiny bladder!
Relationships are just anteing up on each other’s crazy until one person decides the pot is too big and folds.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) April 15, 2016
Accurate.
I want a sign for my car that says “Bad Driver On Board, I’m Very Sorry” so everyone would stop honking at me when I make a 12-point turn
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) April 15, 2016
Much more useful of a sign that knowing if someone has a baby on board.
I will never cheer for a Marvel or DC superhero the way I do for llamas racing for freedom.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 15, 2016
May the llamas of the world live freely forever.
Now might be a good time to deal with the fact that moving to LA has made me scared of wind
— Kate Spencer (@katespencer) April 15, 2016
For anyone who doesn’t live in Los Angeles – it’s truly horrifying.
Personally victimized by the lack of a Beyoncé album.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) April 15, 2016
Seriously – WHERE IS IT?!?!?!
a kitchen without an island is like a human without a heart
— Zoë Klar (@zoeklar) April 15, 2016
Namaste.
I feel like the one lesson high school melodrama characters never learn is to look around corners and close doors before sharing secrets.
— Riley Silverman (@ryesilverman) April 14, 2016
That would solve so many of their problems.
I thought I went to Coachella a few years ago, turns out I was drunkenly shoveling up dog shit in my backyard while listening to my iPod.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 15, 2016
Same thing.
another year with no one but me at my titanic candlelight vigil
— jamie loftus (@hamburgerphone) April 15, 2016
RIP all those people.
Dunno why they call it a Lazy Susan. She’s coming at you from all sides. Never seen a tray so motivated. Hit subscribe for more edgy truths.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 15, 2016
Aparna Nancherla: woman of edgy truth.
sometimes my mom will call to remind me to “fill in my eyebrows” so that i don’t “give up my power”
— corinne caputo (@corintellectual) April 15, 2016
A woman’s brows are the windows to her soul.
I read in a science journal that the world would be better if people were smaller. Did I say science journal? I meant women’s magazine.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) April 15, 2016
YES! *praise hands emoji*
Guy on phone: And what’s your name?
Me: Krista Doyle
Guy: Kris O’Doyle?
Me: …Yep
— Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle) April 15, 2016
L – O – L. Honestly, there’s no need to correct them.
Sucks for you sad procrastinators who are scrambling to do your taxes today! I did mine, like, YEARS ago.
— Gwen (@msgwenl) April 15, 2016
Just being a responsible adult.
I could be walking down the aisle towards someone and I’d still be anxious that I seemed too desperate.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 15, 2016
So real it hurts.
Honestly good smelling men are so so so so so so so so so important to me and I’ll never lose sight of that fact no matter how famous I get.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 15, 2016
Sophia understands the important things in life.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
