Another week, another tweet round-up. Don’t lie, we know this is your favorite part of Friday!
Get the party started with the funniest tweets from the funniest women. And don’t forget to smash that follow button!
men should be glad women want equality not revenge
— alexandra (@thegr8ethan) March 28, 2018
My ears are burning. Someone must be talking about these cute earrings I got from Claire’s
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) March 28, 2018
God: new phone which margaret pic.twitter.com/U03FENZXtz
— Space Joyce (@faithchoyce) March 27, 2018
I want to thank Sean Penn for making every other writer in the world suffering from imposter syndrome a little less worried about whether or not their work is the worst thing ever written.
— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) March 30, 2018
TV show arcs made me think eventually everyone comes clean w their feelings when in reality we swallow it forever and it rots inside of us
— Barbara Gray (@BabsGray) June 28, 2017
The girl Flo Rida sings about in Low was wearing apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, baggy sweatpants, AND reeboks with the straps all at the same time so we must conclude that she was, in fact, a centaur. In this essay I will
— Splenda Pappy (@caroline_oreo) March 26, 2018
FRIEND: so how are you?
ME: I’m well, thanks!
FRIEND: what’s new?
ME: not much!
FRIEND: well, what have you been up to?
ME: why are you doing this to me
— Not Sara (@smithsara79) March 26, 2018
the most relatable Gwyneth Paltrow has ever been tbh pic.twitter.com/csovjIXCXa
— Britt Hayes (@MissBrittHayes) March 28, 2018
me at 15: wow soon i’ll be 21
me at 21: wow soon i’ll be 30
me at 30: wow soon i’ll be dead
— victoria (@theblowout) March 26, 2018
My friend just sent me this screenshot and this is every dude you dated in your twenties pic.twitter.com/j5s3GDiCnF
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) March 29, 2018
Registering a lot of people to vote today, which is officially the least creepy way to ask a teenager if they’re 18.
— Alison Klemp (@alisonklemp) March 24, 2018
Here are some totally overused jokes I think we should retire! Feel free to comment with your own! pic.twitter.com/daTGjbupJP
— Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) March 28, 2018