Melania Trump Drag Queens Are Coming

This is going to change Drag Queen Bingo night forever. If Cecily Strong is right, there are going to be a lot of vaguely Eastern European ditzy queens tearing up the town in a couple months. Kween Cecily went on Late Night to talk about her gay upbringing, how she gets her checks on SNL, and of course Melania.

Weekly Roundup Of The Very Funniest Tweets

Yiiiiiiikes this week has been insane. Seems like everyone’s busy getting their rights taken away or getting peed on. In times like this, to whom can we turn for a lil 140 character inspiration? Um, funny women of course!

Enjoy these hilarious tweets from some of our fave internet geniuses.

Ironically, Hidden Fences does sort of sound like it’d be a great movie about institutionalized racism.

— Riley?️‍?Silverman (@ryesilverman) January 9, 2017

Me on Instagram: Made cupcakes w the kids, love them so much

Me for real: YOU’RE GETTING EGGSHELLS IN THE BATTER JESUS CHRIST LET ME DO IT

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 12, 2017

Sorry I only had sex with you so I could count it in my fitness app pic.twitter.com/WDlzcvrWAB

— Allegra Ringo (@allegraringo) January 9, 2017

Please don’t make America a place where you have to Kickstarter your cancer treatment because you didn’t like the last president.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 12, 2017

Waiting for Trump to tweet about Meryl like pic.twitter.com/aOFPE6ZJGv

— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) January 9, 2017

[first date]

Him: Let’s take the stairs!

Me: I think we should see other people.

— Fickle_Filly (@Fickle_Filly) January 8, 2017

This is like Senior week in high school except after this we’re all going to die. https://t.co/yy5SdDquua

— Kimberly N. Foster (@KimberlyNFoster) January 12, 2017

Film screeners have warnings against publicly performing them; it is with deep regret that I must cancel my one woman show “Doctor Strange.”

— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) January 12, 2017

what the fuck this took me YEARS pic.twitter.com/7vfekfPRGg

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 12, 2017

I know lots of rich guys who can’t make a woman cum and that’s irresponsible AF https://t.co/ZFnBF9BJQo

— Rachel Fisher (@TheRachelFisher) January 13, 2017

“Do you want Chrome to remember this password?”

Yes

“Password is incorrect” pic.twitter.com/w0WYTtRGi0

— Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) January 10, 2017

So no one read up on how Casey Affleck is a garbage person sexual predator creep pic.twitter.com/pycj4x1VsD

— Nina Concepción (@ninamconcepcion) January 9, 2017

We don’t need the ACA. In much the same way we don’t need schools. Or roads. Or any infrastructure. Let’s all just die of exposure

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) January 12, 2017

what i don’t need today—or any other day tbh—is a devil’s advocate. the devil stays advocating for his damn self. he’s got a whole team, fam

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) January 10, 2017

this is important. pic.twitter.com/FHDpmN6idq

— Merry Rihannamas (@jfurta_) January 12, 2017

holy shit if you go to staples you will find a whole aisle of documents trump didn’t want you to see pic.twitter.com/bVWOdBeuLn

— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) January 12, 2017

.@IvankaTrumpHQ Haaay, girl. Looks delish. Glad you’re into good health! Speaking of: Maybe ask dad not to rip away coverage from 30 mil?

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) January 13, 2017

A Holiday Letter To Trump-Voting Loved Ones

Family’s family, even if they’re hateful and uncompassionate and don’t accept your life choices. Hahahaha just kidding, screw those jerks. You don’t have to go home for the holidays if you don’t want to, and this serenade is dedicated to the family members we’re happy to not have to deal with.

This lil jingle stars writer/director Rachel Sweeney, as well as the super talented. Brad Frenette, Jazmin Williams, Jack Frederick, and Donald Chang.

RIQ: A Bedtime Story From Donald Trump

If reality tv star and self-proclaimed businessman Donald Trump told a bedtime story, what would it sound like? We posed that very question to the one and only Petey Gibson, who knocked it out of the damn park. It’s short, sweet, and 100% bizarre. Think of it as our way of saying ‘BOY BYE’.

What The First 24 Hours of Trump Presidency Would Look Like

Don’t stress, it’s not gonna happen. But if in some parallel world Donald Trump won, the first day would be preetttty terrible! From the beautiful minds behind No You Listen, we bring you some theories on what would go down from some funny comedians. Lots of vomiting, it looks like.

This Australian Is Gonna Save Us From Ourselves

Chloe (aka Lucy Green) is on a mission. She’s coming all the way from Australia to try to convince us to not elect Trump as president. Maybe this Ozzie Khaleesi can do what a zillion rational op-eds can’t, and show us that the dude is a dang lunatic. And maybe she can’t! But at least she’ll give us a giggle while she tries.