You Gotta Stand By Your Hand

Finally, a country song we can really get behind. The visionary weirdos of sketch team Uncle Garbage have written a ballad about the truest kind of love – the love between a woman and her hand. It made us cry with laughter. You really need to watch the whole thing all the way to the end.

*Also this is so unbelievably NSFW, but only because we live in a cruel cold world where you’re not supposed to talk about rubbing one out in the workplace.

If Girls Talked Like Guys

One of our favorite YouTube comedy duos is back with their latest video which introduces a hilarious alternate world where girls talk like guys do. (more…)

Don’t Date A Girl Who Reads…Wait, What?

Sabrina Cruz throws down some serious truth in her latest video. Basically, it can be summed up when she says:

“Stop trying to define girls based on a single facet of their complex existence and then acting like certain facets are better than others.”

D-D-D-DAMN, SABRINA.

Amen, sister. Watch her take down the logic that a person should only date “a woman who reads.”

GIF via.

The Beth At Home Quickie Workout!

“You’re meant to have the body you’re meant to have.” – Beth Hoyt, Fitness Guru

If you’re needing a little motivation to workout after Valentine’s Day, this is your new go to workout video. It’s perfect for shedding those winter lb’s we’ve all put on, and the best part about it is that it’s totally conducive to working out whilst holding a glass of wine. It’s like Beth has looked into our souls and knows exactly what we want.

Weekly Roundup Of The Funniest F*cking Tweets

Elizabeth Banks' Whohaha-Hillary Clinton

IT’S FRIDAY Y’ALL. The turn up is real. Get ready for the weekend by laughing your ass off at these LOL worthy tweets. Happy Friday!

If you see me with my hair in a ponytail, I have a ponytail headache.

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 30, 2016

SAME GIRL.

Would it be weird to ask the guy I like out on a nap? — Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) January 30, 2016

Yep, we’re into this idea.

*sexily puts wrapped starburst in mouth*
*eats starburst and wrapper*

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 29, 2016

Extra protein, right?

Can you imagine naming a show “Star Trek: the Next Generation” today, and not being forced to make it about horny 20-somethings in space? — Anne Lane (@AnnieLLane) January 29, 2016

Seriously though.

Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 29, 2016

Real talk.

If I see a guy eating gummi candies I eat all his reds and blues. He benefits from patriarchy so it’s the least he can do — Allegra Ringo (@allegraringo) January 29, 2016

All about them checks and balances.

I want to be the Gordon Ramsay of former child stars’ lives

— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) January 29, 2016

YAS, please!

Cool girls talking about loving gluten in movies is the new hot girls talking about loving cheeseburgers of the 90’s. — erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) January 29, 2016

Tears on our face.

often think about this moment from my parents wedding video where the cameraman just zoomed in on a plate of ham pic.twitter.com/ariepazNFN

— Sophie Gadd (@sophie_gadd) January 25, 2016

Ham > everything else.

I’m worried people are letting Donald Trump get away with saying all these insane things just because he’s so fucking hot. — Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) January 29, 2016

We can’t even keep it together with this tweet.

Wake me up when there’s a Barbie with one tit bigger than the other

— Emmy Blotnick (@emmyblotnick) January 29, 2016

This would be the absolute best.

I would never say someone is dumb. I say they SEEM dumb which I’ve decided sounds nicer. Like, maybe it’s just bad lighting. — erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) January 29, 2016

Yes, that filter DEFINITELY makes you look not smart.

I’ve wanted to be an astronaut ever since I was 2 and watched the Space Shuttle Challenger explode on live television.

— Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) January 29, 2016

Nothing is more inspirational than a national tragedy?

My drug of choice is the thrill I get making inappropriate comments on family members’ sincere Facebook posts.

— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) January 28, 2016

*Leaves political comment on crazy uncle’s Facebook status* *Lurks quietly away* *Watches gleefully as chaos unfolds in a very Mr. Burns-esque style*

Lebron James is to coaches what Harry Potter is to Defense Against The Dark Arts Professors. Is this what you monsters want?? Is this good?! — shelby fero (@shelbyfero) January 28, 2016

May we all have the confidence of LeBron James.

Featured image via.