Anna Kendrick Can’t Stop Siiiingiiiiing

We all know that girl who sings everything she says. And look, we all hate that girl. But can you imagine the horror of discovering that you ARE that girl? Anna Kendrick has lived through that nightmare and can tell the tale. It would be awful, if she wasn’t so dang cute.

Sofiya Alexandra Is A Dick Whisperin’ Hero

Being bilingual makes a person pretty cool, in our opinion. But translating a dick surgery while it’s happening to save your grandpa’s life? Well that’s a goddamn super power. Sofiya Alexandra is one of the funniest stand-up comedians in the game, and this story made us want to laugh, cry, and barf all at the same time. Powerful stuff.

No Straws? NO STRAWS?!?!

What’s that one quote about how civilization is like two missed meals away from totally collapsing? Well when you’re a woman and your face is supposed to look perfect all the damn time, what’s really keeping you from burning everything to the ground is straws. Yep, straws. This sketch from Elizabeth Cheviot and Nightpantz shows the terrible consequences of an office running out of those little plastic tubes.