Being A Cougar Isn’t Easy

We don’t use the words ‘dating expert’ lightly, but it seems like Marina Franklin might be one. Maybe not when it comes to the actual dating, but definitely when it comes to making jokes about it. Do yourself a favor and go watch more of her stand-up, because the woman is a damn genius when it comes to crafting a joke.

RIQ With Cynthia LuCiette: Losing The V Card

We sat down with the hilarious Cynthia LuCiette to ask if she could describe losing her virginity with a movie title. Honestly? She picked the most perfect one. That shit is just terrible.

Also someone tell us when the next meeting of the Secret Thot Fraternity is, we’ll totally bring muffins.

When Couple’s Game Night Goes Too Far

It’s ok to be competitive. Being competitive gets you more money at work, or shiny trophies from your adult dodgeball league.

But sometimes being competitive goes too far. This sketch from Annie Claffey warns of the dangers of getting a little too into game night. Always remember – friendships are even easier to smash than plates.

Weekly Roundup Of The Funniest Tweets

IT’S FRIDAY! YAAAAS.

marital status: has seen every episode of law & order: svu more than once

— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) June 2, 2016

SWIPE RIGHT

you can’t shame me; i paid money to own the song Hey Soul Sister

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 1, 2016

Def not here for the Train shaming.

So sorry I’m late, it’s just that I’ve never been on time to anything in my whole life

— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) June 1, 2016

Honestly, what would it even feel like to be on time to something?

Realizing I’m past the age where I can listen to punk rock while eating without getting extremely stressed.

— Rhea Butcher (@RheaButcher) June 2, 2016

As we go on/we remember/all the times we/had together…

when you see a couple jogging pic.twitter.com/Lj6d6mNzOJ

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) June 2, 2016

What are they trying to prove?!??!

Anyone who hasn’t ❤️ed my selfies actually ❤️s them in their ❤️ but is trying to lay low & not be creepy

— dr. dalia ☥ (@DALIAMALEK) May 30, 2016

Tbh this is the kind of self confidence with which we should all be living our lives.

it’s important for you to know that I have 16 signature scents

— victoria (@theblowout) June 1, 2016

Highly important news update.

When did “looking down with your eyes bashfully closed” become the new duckface? Did that memo go to my old address?

— Emily V Gordon (@thegynomite) June 2, 2016

Oh we can forward that memo to you, all the Insta models got it.

I’m not like…OTHER girls. I’m an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys.

— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) May 28, 2016

Manic pixie dream machine.

my mom is my best audience pic.twitter.com/2bJe7w82Bh

— Grace (@GraceSpelman) June 2, 2016

Lucky!

Twitter should be called TellWomen dot com.

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 2, 2016

‘Actually’… ?

Weird that New Yorkers shit on LA for not having seasons when theirs are Autumn, Arctic Wetlands, 48 Hour Spring, and Hot Garbage.

— Mel Gabor (@melgabored) June 2, 2016

Yeah but at least during Arctic Wetlands you get to wear this totally adorbs parka from H&M!

In a world full of princesses, be a hot dog

— Amber Kenny (@amber_kenny) May 29, 2016

Delicious and phallic?

Summer is
Baseball
Flip flops
Clarinet solos
Rusty nails
Unsolvable homicides
Bird mites
Swimsuits

— beige queen (@ladybroseph) May 3, 2014

Ahhhhh the pleasures of June…

How to look hotter in photos: set yourself on fire.

— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) May 29, 2016

Is it bad to ask a firefighter to take a profile pic?

Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works MUCH better on stains than regular pens

— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) June 1, 2016

Who knew??