Alright we need to talk about Joanne for a minute. In these dismal ass times, she is the light that burns in the darkness of Twitter, the champion of all that is shady and great.
Case in point:
Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I’ve still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017
DAMN that is salty. Salty and delicious. Also another case in point:
Guess it’s true what they say: you can lead a girl to books about the rise and fall of an autocrat, but you still can’t make her think. pic.twitter.com/oB7Aq6Xz8M
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 1, 2017
But the truth is, Rowling’s Twitter account has always been a thing of beauty. She does NOT put up with bigotry or injustice, and she fights back with some mighty powerful jokes. So here are a few more glorious tweets from the queen of funny and righteous burns.
.@aboymadeofsky No, Jonathan, I’ve never made a single decision in my life on the basis of whether it was cool.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 9, 2014
The ONLY way to live.
Well, there you have it. A highly intelligent, experienced woman just debated a giant orange Twitter egg. Your move, America. #debate
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 20, 2016
This honestly should have ended the whole nightmare right there, frankly.
Death Eaters walk among us. https://t.co/tqKq1anHpf
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 24, 2016
And they are so much lamer in real life.
.@anakocovic21 Maybe because gay people just look like… people?
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) March 24, 2015
One ? Thousand ? Claps ?
@ChrisDarroch2 and you can’t spell “Slytherin”.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015
Never has a spelling burn been so effective.
.@diegtristan8 “she is built like a man”. Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You’re an idiot. pic.twitter.com/BCvT10MYkI
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 11, 2015
Wish she would ride up like a white knight for all our favorite athletes and actors.
I was born Christian. If that makes Rupert Murdoch my responsibility, I’ll auto-excommunicate. http://t.co/Atw1wNk8UX
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 11, 2015
This is the perfect counter-argument to that dumb ass point.
.@WBCsigns Alas, the sheer awesomeness of such a union in such a place would blow your tiny bigoted minds out of your thick sloping skulls.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 26, 2015
SHABOOM! JK’s going nuclear y’all!
.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015
P sure this dude needed aloe more than he needed a wang pump after this.
.@realrossnoble Classic case of a Hufflepuff trying to be edgy. Be who you really are, Ross.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 27, 2014
RESPECT YOUR HOUSE!
There’s a story in today’s Mail that I was in a London bar on Monday ‘celebrating’ handing in a ‘romantic novel’ to my publishers…
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014
1) I haven’t handed in ANY kind of novel to my publishers. I’m only half way through my current book. 2) It isn’t a ‘romantic’ novel.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014
And 3) (brace yourselves) I sometimes have a drink even when I haven’t finished a book. Yes, that’s how rock and roll I really am.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 22, 2014
Honestly she is a perfect person and we couldn’t love her more.
