Ho ho hope you like these sweet tweets that we wrapped up just for you!
Have yourself a merry little long weekend, and don’t forget to make the Yuletide gay!
when u surround urself with a network of strong, supportive women who lift each other up on the daily pic.twitter.com/DQ9sQqMYL9
— emily axford (@eaxford) December 19, 2017
“Per my last e-mail” is office speak for “bitch can you read”
— Loft burner acct (@OhEmmeG) December 21, 2017
There will never be an “our song.” I refuse to ruin good music by associating it with people.
— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) December 19, 2017
honestly the Star Wars saga is just the story of three generations of people bullying c3po
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) December 19, 2017
I unconsciously smile at people’s dogs as they walk them down the street. Recently I smiled at a man’s dog as I was lost in thought and he said, “Bitch smiles at a dog but won’t look me in the eye.” A DOG WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT, THAT’S WHY.
— Louise Hung (@LouiseHung1) December 19, 2017
slept with all three ghosts who tried to fix me
— bez (@Bez) December 20, 2017
There should be something like the Make a Wish Foundation that allows women who came forward with their tales of sexual assault to meet their matriarchal idols. “Oh, you finally felt comfortable telling your story after years of heartbreaking, forced silence? Here’s Kate Bush.”
— Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal) December 20, 2017
Let’s all start referring to our periods as, “a crime scene in the basement”
— Pretty Hate Machine (@hey_friend) December 18, 2017
90 percent of being an adult is waking up every day and bribing yourself to cosplay as a responsible human until it’s time to go to sleep again
— Andi Zeisler (@andizeisler) December 18, 2017
Hanukkah Prayer With Translation:
Baruch atah adonai
[I AM FIGHTING THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS]
Eloheinu Melech haolam
[CHRISTMAS WILL PERISH BY MY JEW HAND]
Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav
[MAY THIS PRAYER MAGICALLY END CHRISTMAS]
V’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 16, 2017
If I ever stop posting I either died or finally had sex
— Vron (@veronicaj119) December 19, 2017
? You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Life gets worse when you’re an adult. ?
— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 17, 2014
Cry at work…hell no. I cry in my car during lunch singing showtunes from Cats like a normal person.
— MizzTangles (@MizzTangles) December 19, 2017
Men sure seem concerned about power being abused all of a sudden now that women are wielding some of it.
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) December 19, 2017