The weekend is so close. Sweatpants and white wine are but a few hours away. HOLD ON OUT THERE LADY FRIENDS!!
And while you wait, read through the funniest dang tweets of the week. We’ll get you laughing all the way to the weekend, bb.
Sally Yates just devastatingly owning Ted Cruz should be its own PornHub category.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 8, 2017
When your mom is a surgeon on TV but you think that when she goes to work, she’s actually “cutting bodies”… #actormom #mothersday pic.twitter.com/VbI30RSDbM
— Sarah Drew (@sarahdrew) May 12, 2017
The bathroom fixture you ordered is still waiting outside your front door. Let that sink in.
— Avery Edison (@aedison) May 12, 2017
i hate emails so much but i also hate phone calls…. and texting… are we sure the door on faxing is closed permanently?
— megan mackay (@mmmegan) May 10, 2017
If you’ve ever told me I look cozy know that I have never forgiven you
— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) May 10, 2017
New rule: If your writing staff is less than 20% female keep your fucking girl power tweets to yourself.
— Jackie Jennings (@ohhijackie) May 8, 2017
Live shot of my brain trying to come up with funny responses to impress someone I think is cool pic.twitter.com/zFOXS8CO9p
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere) May 7, 2017
I’m terrified of confrontation & erupt in tears if anyone SEEMS like they’re disappointed in me & I would do a better job than Sean Spicer.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) May 12, 2017
CNN’s guests today will be a politician who thinks firing Comey was wrong and a man who is interested in watching the end of the world.
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) May 10, 2017
I almost live-tweeted my abortion but I couldn’t think of a good enough hashtag.
(#babysfirstborsh seemed too crass)
— Clare O’Kane (@babysfirstgun) May 10, 2017
Those Who Forget The Past Are Doomed To Repeat It: Electric Boogaloo
— batkaren (@batkaren) May 4, 2017
How am I alive pic.twitter.com/ssxHO3igMb
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) May 10, 2017
Handmaids Tale is so easy to watch. I’ve barely had to stop every episode and turn on Sex and the City. Barely! Or constantly. Who can say.
— SydSteinberg (@thesteinberglar) May 10, 2017
I stupidly thought high school would be the worst 4 years of my life…
— Emily Galati (@emilygalati) May 10, 2017
“I was offline 20 mins, what’s up?” “CIA is now run by Guy Fieri. 72 rats in a suit are the secretary of defense. Tuesdays were outlawed.”
— Mo Ryan (@moryan) May 9, 2017