IT’S THE WEEKEND!!! Whether you’re going hard at the club or dressing up your cats for your weekly photoshoot, you deserve a break from the grind.
Let these hilarious tweets start your mini-vacay out right.
Hahahaha get it because women aren’t people pic.twitter.com/lqzgdEEbiC
— Danielle Grace (@danimgrace) March 28, 2017
Girl are you a Netflix series? Because you don’t know how to pace yourself and I can’t handle another of these episodes.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) March 28, 2017
‘What u been up to?’
‘Uno. On the grind and that. The best never rest. The hustle is my bitch. Sleep when I’m dead. Capitalism is my lover’ https://t.co/JBeNxNxKVF
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) March 31, 2017
i just dropped the kids off at my moms house for a sleepover and now i’m ready to party but after i walk around Kohl’s for like an hour.
— The Getaway Girl (@The_GetawayGirl) March 25, 2017
Dear Slim, I wrote you but still ain’t callin, I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn– pic.twitter.com/lZZtXJYzha
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) March 29, 2017
I already wear it as a thin, body-length cape-vest hybrid. Watches are for the supporting cast of American Psycho. https://t.co/iJEI5L8Hci
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) March 28, 2017
the only pure image left in this world pic.twitter.com/0owOjt2hBL
— Ziwe (@ziwe) March 29, 2017
[Reading Berenstain Bears to my niece]
Her: What was Brother Bear’s name before Sister Bear was born?
Me: That’s a good fuckin’ question.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 28, 2017
Been using age reverse night cream for two weeks now and not a single person has questioned my understanding of object permanence 🙁
— Taylor Cox (@bytaylorcox) March 29, 2017
When somebody calls me a snowflake. pic.twitter.com/QZTt3aLuBX
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 29, 2017
so sad to think I’ll never love my children as much as I love this meme pic.twitter.com/SxpLEZcHT0
— stephanie ritter (@stephanieritter) March 30, 2017
Visualizing a life where I get out of bed within the same hour of waking up. Can’t see it.
— Diana Dinerman (@ddinerman) March 24, 2017
When your crush says “Assalamalaikum” pic.twitter.com/lxHBhAFVKf
— Ash (@Raashedeh) March 30, 2017
I don’t have a social media presence. I have social media presents because everything I post is a gift you ungrateful bastards.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) March 29, 2017
When I enter a room pic.twitter.com/WJbnAwnLhd
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 24, 2017