Folks, we are not kidding. Go vote. You have to. The world needs you to. We haven’t exactly been subtle about who we want you to vote for, but whatever bubbles you’re filling in in that ballot box, just friggin go do it already. Funny of Die agrees. Rachel Bloom needs you to. Mayim Bialik needs you to. Elizabeth Banks needs you to. IT’S REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT. K love you bye.
Mmm, nothing like the feeling of settling down into a lotus pose and relaxing your body and mind and then remembering every dumb embarrassing thing you’ve ever done. Because who are we kidding, that’s what meditating actually is. This little ditty from Alyssa Simmons perfectly captures the mindfulness struggle.
Ever had to babysit your male boss because he’s too busy hatching some harebrained scheme that’s just going to end up costing the company money? You might be every female employee ever. OR you might be one of the lovable ladies of Dunder Mifflin from The Office on NBC! Mo Polyak wrote and performed this tribute to Pam, Kelly, Donna, Jan, Meredith, Angela, and Phyllis, and the rest, and now we can’t stop humming it.
You know what time it is…
But quick, before you’re too Tempranillo tipsy to get jokes – read all these hilarious tweets by hella dope women.
Let’s be friends with benefits. The benefits? You get to be friends with me. ?
— Michelle Stripe (@michellestripe) June 14, 2017
My mom was told to give me a half up half down hairstyle. She didnt know what that meant so she did this.. pic.twitter.com/4WmaJxVqcl
— Hanna De Castro (@urchicahanna) June 11, 2017
BEACH BOYS: Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?
ME: Let me stop you right there.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) June 10, 2017
HE MONCH BUTT – renaissance painting, 1602 pic.twitter.com/DGn0VGHmvU
— radmuscles (@PipRasmussen) June 15, 2017
You make me as happy as I’m capable of being, which is limited I grant you, but still.
— Annie Hatfield (@HatfieldAnne) June 14, 2017
I hope @KamalaHarris interrupts any Republican Senator who tries to congratulate her at her inauguration.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) June 13, 2017
Yes. I didn’t know men could see my butthole during sex. It was a naive thought and I’ll never be the same. https://t.co/LMrR7GceBD
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 14, 2017
I guess you don’t draw vaginas on passed out people’s faces because it would just be badass to wake up with a tattoo of your origin story
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 15, 2017
Just asked Siri to play “greatest love” by Whitney & she played “Marry The Pussy” by R Kelly instead – even she got good pussy jokes. ✌️
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) June 16, 2017
When will my laptop understand that I NEVER MEAN TO FUCKING OPEN KEYNOTE
— Nina Concepción (@ninamconcepcion) June 16, 2017
Oh, wow. Little girl in full meltdown because when her mom packed movies for the trip, she only packed the little boy’s favorites.
— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire) June 13, 2017
Someone should tell them that black ppl are bike lanes pic.twitter.com/8b0b0AIzFA
— dr. dalia ☥ (@DALIAMALEK) June 15, 2017
ME AS A DRUG DEALER: here, try some vasodilators. they make your blood feel so big.
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) June 15, 2017
I asked my cat for loyalty. I now refer to her as Comey pic.twitter.com/Tzok3sTNBQ
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) June 13, 2017
not one fucking thing pic.twitter.com/2orl4kG2Vf
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 15, 2017
I just think it’s a little unfair that movie showers aren’t a thing for female filmmakers who don’t have babies.
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) June 14, 2017
Getting great stuff done in the conference! pic.twitter.com/6rnLhsCGDX
— Fiona (@cogentanalysis) June 16, 2017
Shoo wop, boopy doop! We’ve got a swingin’ new track for you, tomcats and kittens! In this little number, our favorite girl group realizes that they don’t actually know where that handsome boyfriend actually goes when he leaves. We honestly keep hitting repeat on this video, it’s as catchy as it is hilarious.
This interview is so cute we could laugh-cry forever. Aidy Bryant just got engaged to her long term bf and the story of how he popped the question is so funny and so so sweet. Power couple alert, heyooooooo!