Maya. Emma. Tubs of Butter.

We’re so lucky to live in a world with butter. It makes toast bearable, it lubes up ears of corn, it’s the secret ingredient behind croissants (croissants of course being proof that God loves us).

And now because of Maya & Marty, we know that butter tubs are the perfect accompaniment to the gorgeous voices of two of the funniest women ever to live, Maya Rudolph and Emma Stone.

Thank you, butter, for all that you do.

Psycho Pixie Dream Guy

Meet Jamandy Teethpotato. He’s whimsical, he’s vivacious, he may be in the middle of a schizophrenic break. Fun!

We <3 this trailer from Brit & Brit because it’s just fully insane.

The Funniest Freakin Tweets of The Week

HEADING INTO THE WEEKEND LIKE…

But before we get there, enjoy the very freshest tweets of the week!

Just wrote “I should have broken up with me” instead of “I should have broken up with him.” Who needs therapy when you have Freud wait what?

— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) June 30, 2016

‘Stella Got Her Groove Back’ but for a woman who dumped herself, get on that Hollywood

I did too much pizza and need the pulp fiction needle to my gut pic.twitter.com/mudUspNMqV

— Li’l Edie Pentland (@JennyPentland) June 27, 2016

Somebody get her a syringe of kale pulp STAT.

Look, iPhone, if you’re gonna autocorrect my expletives to “ducking”, then at least give us a duck emoji to go with it

— Chanelle T (@TheTysonChannel) July 1, 2016

We need, in reverse order: duck, popcorn, women doing sports

Alternatively, if things go a different way, let’s get Hillary some wildfire

— Annie Stamell (@stamos) June 27, 2016

The Mad Prez is a pretty tight rap name, honestly.

Snap chat is dope for when you know someone is only worth looking at for like 8 seconds.

— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) June 29, 2016

Oh thiiiiiis is what Snapchat is for

Suns out guns out. Moons out guns out. This is America, so guns are always out, regardless of celestial order.

— LISA CURRY (@lisa_curry) June 28, 2016

Ragnarok, guns out.

Cersei Cersei Cersei I know you going though it Gurl but these costumes like look like bad purses I mean damn Gina! pic.twitter.com/kx0O0QEtpa

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) June 27, 2016

Savage. Savage and accurate.

Jesse Williams should apologize for getting us all so hype this late before a Monday. pic.twitter.com/zhwCpoUwjg

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 27, 2016

Finally got woke 10 minutes before we had to go to bed yeesh.

Any bed can be a deathbed if you die in it.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 27, 2016

Hmm makes u think.

Happy Pride!! ❤️????pic.twitter.com/1yy7jH8UiO

— Samira Wiley (@samirawiley) June 26, 2016

COME BACK AND BRING US THAT SHIIIIIIIRT

I may never deactivate a ticking timebomb with seconds to spare, but solving this problem came close. pic.twitter.com/Wq46XQpaSm

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) June 29, 2016

What happened here how did this end we need to know?!?!

Can’t tell if I’m missing something from my life or if it’s just 3pm

— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) June 29, 2016

Time for that post-lunch emotional breakdown!

10pm double espresso feels sexual to me

— Ali Segel (@OnlineAlison) June 27, 2016

Medium espresso is better than medium sex, let’s get real here.

I keep a fake diary so that future generations think I cried way less about ordering a lunch that disappointed me

— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) June 28, 2016

Can’t wait for it to be turned to into a book called ‘The Woman Who Never Cried and Was Always Chill’

image via

The Sorting Hat Is A Jerk

Do you ever think about how the Sorting Hat was kind of… judgy? We know that was its job but still. Don’t have to be a butt-hole about it.

This hard-hitting sketch from writer Crystal Franceschini and director Stephanie Pressman gets right to the truth. That hat was a jerk. And your childhood was a lie.

Weekly Roundup Of The Best Tweets

It’s been a week, y’all. Thank goddess for all the funny women who help us get through. Let’s make each other laugh, huh?

congress gets things done like i do my laundry: don’t do jack shit for six months, start to stink, pull a shameful all nighter

— jamie loftus (@hamburgerphone) June 15, 2016

It’s like we always say, literally anyone can end up in Congress.

Being heartbroken is a great way to make your friends really proud of you for completing basic tasks

— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) June 12, 2016

I got out of bed today plz validate me now.

my constant state but current state mostly is lin-manuel miranda weeping in carole king’s arms

— #BrittanySpanos (@ohheybrittany) June 13, 2016

How anyone made it through the Tony’s without sobbing like Lin-Manuel is a true mystery.

Ask the Gays sequels:
-Quiz the Blacks
-Canvass the Jews
-Cross-examine the Muslims
-Interrogate the Mexicans
-Query the Women Over 40

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 15, 2016

This is very funny and also makes us very nervous because what if he does?

Can you still be punk if you’re mad at someone for getting your bath mat dirty?

— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) June 12, 2016

Punk is a state of mind. (But also, no).

what are you doing tom no pls no think this through pls tom tom can you hear me blink once for yes tom blink twice if you need help tom pls

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) June 15, 2016

Where were you when you found out about Swiddles Beachgate?

brain *whispering*: hey
me: stop i’m trying to sleep
brain: you ever think maybe girls with straight hair are happier than you

— Julia Fay (@JuliaFayZim) June 10, 2016

This but also with girls with thick eyebrows.

It’s cute flowers tuck themselves in at night

— Mary Sasson (@marysasson) June 12, 2016

CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS ??????

Chlamydia is way too sexy a name for what’s only kind of a sexy thing.

— Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) June 15, 2016

Of the venereal diseases, which is your fave? We like scabies.

Yoda advising Anakin about the pull of the dark side except it’s me warning you about the temptation to be a fuck boy.

— Liz (@ibikeinheels) June 15, 2016

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to ghosting.