It’s the freakin weekend, baby we’re about to have us some tweets!
Times I’ve said “I slay”: One hundred million
Times I’ve actually slayed: Like 3
— Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle) June 9, 2016
Oh we’re keeping count? No one told us we have to keep count?!?!?
Intriguing when they lower the lights in a restaurant, & force you to consider your dinner companion in a romantic way, even if it’s a book
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 5, 2016
Real talk: there are books that are sexier than 90% of Tinder randos.
He wasn’t shy about it either pic.twitter.com/iFoVTtEfut
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) June 9, 2016
Ohhhhh history burn! #longstrongbouttogetthefrictionon
A hotdog isn’t a sandwich it’s a taco.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) June 9, 2016
Lifetime: Television for Women pushing other women over balconies and down stairs to preserve their tangled web of deceit
— Emily Faye (@mlefaye) June 5, 2016
If only all shows were this relatable…
so last night beyonce sneezed and the crowd went crazy which proves that bey can make literally any noise into a mic and its a hit
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) June 8, 2016
Can’t wait for that track to drop!
Conversations between family members and me about whether or not I’m still single pic.twitter.com/HAHyNJjkUp
— reilly martin (@reilly_grace) June 8, 2016
HAHAHAHAHA CRY CRY CRY CRY
me, irl pic.twitter.com/CqF3yyaEBy
— victoria (@theblowout) June 8, 2016
Knife Barbie is our role model. Let’s all be more like Knife Barbie.
We just out here tryna fulfill our emotional and sexual needs without actually being emotionally vulnerable
— Keely Weiss (@mynameiskeely) June 9, 2016
Damn, this one is maybe too real.
when the beat drops pic.twitter.com/LuLbAx6JuJ
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) June 9, 2016
Up in the club, communicating with aliens, killing that mini skirt.
If I ever say I’m looking up a recipe, I’m not. I’m googling how to hard boil an egg again
— Barbara Gray (@BabsGray) June 6, 2016
If it’s always third in your search history does that mean you’re a bad person?
An extremely accurate description of what it’s like to hook up with me pic.twitter.com/z1UTr7FjBI
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) February 20, 2016
I used to think English accents were special before YouTube.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 7, 2016
Yeah and we also used to believe in Santa Claus. Children are stupid.
Waiting for Hillary to tweet Donald “TURN YOUR LOCATION ON BITCH!” So that I’ll know Armageddon is nigh.
— Y’assssssss Al Ghul (@beauty_jackson) June 9, 2016
So ready for this election to fully turn into 8th grade.
18 years later, which Sex and the City character are you? I am the myth that writing one weekly column can financially sustain you.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 9, 2016
Also that one column can buy a closet of Manohlo’s, Carrie really ruined adulthood for us.