Brittanie Sheree’s Fun Facts!

Brittanie Sheree does NOT pull her punches. The hilarious stand-up comic tackles it all in this set – genocide, hair dye, fun facts about Cherokee history, the truth about Christopher Columbus’ boats, and of course reality tv. She truly is a rock star first and a comedian on the side.

This Week’s Funniest Tweets

Some week, huh? But in between the calling your senators about gun control and birth control and figuring out which movie review websites are run by sexual predators, you should take a little time to read good jokes from funny women. It’s the best self care we know of, tbh.

Oh yeah, and then take some time for wine too. Wine gets it.

Ladies bear with me I haven’t slept enough this week but if we hide all the guns in our vaginas, Congress will HAVE to regulate them!!!

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) October 4, 2017

I want to offer a new pastime to gun “hobbyists.” For example, my dad cooks his own hummingbird nectar & it’s really fuckin weird (THREAD)

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) October 3, 2017

High school bathroom graffiti: brittneys a hoe!!
College bathroom graffiti: Our entire society was founded on racism and misogyny

— Roxanne ? (@roxgranat) September 22, 2017

how you like IT daddy
how you like IT daddy pic.twitter.com/XyU6OHWdlF

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) October 2, 2017

things more regulated than assault rifles:
– Kinder Surprise Eggs
– Sudafed
– birth control pills
– fucking lawn darts
– Camembert cheese

— Mia Bee (@im_a_mia) October 2, 2017

“Hi, I’m Erin Gibson, and I’ll grab ’em by the dick.” – my campaign slogan

— Nasty Erin (@gibblertron) October 4, 2017

DONT??SAY??U??WANT??A??GOTH??GF??IF??U??FREAK??OUT??WHEN??SHE??SACKS??ROME??

— ??anarc-ho?? (@Crime_Doer) October 4, 2017

*hits the blunt* ok why do they separate mens and womens chess tournaments

— bean toad (@beehivesy) October 2, 2017

women: there’s some really insidious stuff going on between tech and actual nazis
men a half decade later: whoa guess what *I* discovered!!!

— grapeman (@moocowprincess) October 5, 2017

you, sobbing: you can’t just jam a word in front of -‘tober’ and call it a monthly challenge
me, pointing at the sky: birdtober

— lacifer (@byelacey) October 2, 2017

SEE I TOLD YOU SHE WAS PERFECT pic.twitter.com/5jHepL7bfN

— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) October 3, 2017

[in heaven]

FOUNDING FATHERS WHO WROTE THE SECOND AMENDMENT: “um..ya…that’s not what we meant”

— Amanda Hugnkiss (@caliluvgirl77) October 2, 2017

I’m down with white ppl reclaiming ‘cracka’, but I’m still gonna use the hard ‘-er’ version when they cut me in line at Pressed juicery https://t.co/Ok1z292czW

— Tawny Newsome (@TrondyNewman) October 2, 2017

Neil Armstrong: One small step for man…

Neil MRAstrong: Not all men, though

— Not Sara (@smithsara79) October 4, 2017

wow, little boys, you can be anything when you grow up! sexual predator businessman, sexual predator president, stay-at-home sexual predator

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 5, 2017

It’s me, a male photographer on Instagram. Please enjoy my groundbreaking series, Naked Thin White Women in Nature

— Allegra Ringhost (@allegraringo) September 29, 2017

The Week’s Funniest Tweets

Hi, just here to remind you that you’re great and funny women are great and weekends are great. Ok let’s get to the tweets, huh??

“I should be able to say whatever I want whenever I… wait you can’t call me racist I’m offended!”

— Emily V Gordon (@emilyvgordon) November 16, 2016

ACCURATE

WAIT you guys I have an idea for how to fix this: leftist in-fighting

— Allegra Thanksgingo (@allegraringo) November 10, 2016

Wowee, why didn’t we think of that! That’ll do the trick! Everyone get mad about safety pins!

the only way to get over someone is to run at them very fast and then jump as high as you can and hope you get over them

— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) November 18, 2016

So true, did this with an ex-bf and now definitely over him.

Donald Trump can’t even win like a winner.

— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) November 15, 2016

Prrrrrreach!

do not trust men who share the same name as large pieces of artillery pic.twitter.com/3DGnddQp6B

— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) November 17, 2016

Also do not trust men who prove they are terrible.

when you let your loyal subjects eat cake but realize you never got dat slice. pic.twitter.com/mOQpDJdN49

— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) November 18, 2016

Marvel please make a movie about this pug because she is a true hero.

With those little carnival worker hands, will @realDonaldTrump be sworn in on a regular bible or one of those pocket-sized ones?

— Aimee D (@Aimee_B_Loved) November 15, 2016

YA BURNT.

2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby!

Me: Yep, there’s a baby in there! Will you love it?

2: I eat it.

Well that escalated quickly.

— Lacey Nycole (@LaceyNycole) November 16, 2016

This kid is metal as hell.

I reviewed Kendall and Kylie’s feminist, post-apocalyptic YA novel for @TeenVogue. Brand so strong rn https://t.co/2iJjWhp5uV

— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 15, 2016

This is a thing?? THIS IS A THING?!?!?!?

We know, we know. pic.twitter.com/gbh3spIOq0

— Mary Beth Williams (@embeedub) November 15, 2016

Honestly we’re already stocking up on weird red wimples before they get expensive.

Is Tinder currently down and I’m the only person willing to acknowledge this ???

— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) November 15, 2016

Take a look. This is true bravery.

Decided it would be fun to do a little presidential exit polling with my ex-boyfriends. pic.twitter.com/UMCvgzVXgC

— Sarah (@thetigersez) November 12, 2016

IF YOU CARE ABOUT AMERICA YOU WILL ALL DO THIS TO YOUR EXES AND SEND US SCREENSHOTS.

Steve Bannon looks like a dude that’d try to cheat on his wife at an airport P.F. Chang’s

— Megan Gailey (@megangailey) November 15, 2016

And that’s the kindest thing we can say about that racist garbage monster.

pic.twitter.com/2ihmXdkiqB

— Ronna & Beverly (@RonnaAndBeverly) November 16, 2016

Damn, Donald.

Wanna text all my friends “how was the first weekend” like they all got dumped last Tuesday

— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) November 14, 2016

Feels like democracy was our boyfriend and he just left us for a plastic sex doll.

OMG did you hear what happened to the guy who was falsely accused of racism? Nothing. Hes fine. Meanwhile, racism still fucking ppl up daily

— Alice Wetterlund (@alicewetterlund) November 15, 2016

Yeah no but everybody weep for that guy, that’s a good idea.

I feel so seen. pic.twitter.com/PmHlwO8Ygg

— SCORPIO SZN (@whoisGwera) November 17, 2016

#1 meme, all other memes go home.

Veterinarian- You’re here to discuss your dog’s salivation?
Me- No. My dog’s a good dog, he’ll go to Heaven! I’m here about his slobbering.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) November 16, 2016

All dogs are good dogs. Not all dogs can keep their tongues in their mouths.

#tbt to 2004 when I was a journalist. I interviewed Betty White. She told me to stay her friend and, well, I haven’t heard from her since. pic.twitter.com/sPBnYYMKPk

— Fortune Feimster (@fortunefunny) November 18, 2016

Who knew Fortune was this savage and/or a journalist at one point.

Haven’t been able to move, just watching HGTV. Surprised there isn’t a show about ways to spruce up your attic for hiding out in yet.

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) November 18, 2016

If Bette Midler started the revolution we’d be on the barricades for sure.

2 years ago I left a jacket on a bus and I still think about it almost every day I think something is wrong with me.

— Jennie Pierson (@jenniepie) November 18, 2016

How good of a jacket was it tho?

insane that bush era is now considered “simpler times” pic.twitter.com/T9skqbVDHk

— Ziwe (@ziwe) November 16, 2016

Remember when he passed the Patriot Act and took away our right to privacy? *Siiiiigh*

People keep asking WWJD and I’m like I DON’T KNOW he’s unpredictable af.

— denise (@Stellacopter) November 16, 2016

Amen! Oh shit wait-

*plays deniece williams’s ‘let’s hear it for the boy’*

FOUR FOR YOU, JEREMY. YOU GO, JEREMY! pic.twitter.com/wGuMela519

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) November 17, 2016

Thought love was dead. Jeremy just defibrillated it.

TRUMP: So where is the Nuclear button or whatever?

OBAMA: (hands him a Staples big red EASY button) uh…there you go buddy.

— beth loves cake, so (@bourgeoisalien) November 14, 2016

HONESTLY THIS IS A GOOD IDEA BARACK PLEASE TRY THIS.

Cheers To The SNL Premiere!

Saturday Night Live Season 42 starts this coming Saturday, and frankly we are JUICED. Also it’s Wednesday, which means Friday is only a day away, which has us PUMPED. Also also sweater weather is almost here, and that has us STOKED AS HELL.

As of right now, the broads on the cast are: Vanessa Bayer, Aidy Bryant, Leslie jones, Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, Sasheer Zamata, and newbie Melissa Villaseñor.

Toast to all those wonderful people with our forever bae Kate McKinnon, and upcoming show host with the most Margot Robbie. Life is beautiful!