Weekly Roundup Of The Funniest Tweets



But first! The finest, freshest, saltiest tweets of the whole wide week.


This is the only good dating advice anyone’s ever written.


This is so fucking tight please invite us to your wedding.


‘You’ll understand when you have kids’, she said over Captain Picard’s sonorous yells.


Or just put this on our gravestones.


Even the fact checkers couldn’t deny this one!


Some storybook fairytale romance type shit.


Go listen to A Seat At The Table and then tell us you don’t believe that some wombs are just magic.


Dating < candy.


This quiz made us sad ?

Omg did she just explain America?



This is ABSOLUTELY worth 33 cents on the dollar.




Committed to shiny hair and strong nails! (haha who needs a boyfriend)


But have I learned a lot of valuable – oh nooooo.


Let’s all strive to be more like pork bun lady please.


This is the only time ‘MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED’ is allowed.


Pro tip: always check the day of the month before you take a sex dream seriously.


Clinton is Knope, Knope is Clinton, they’re both gonna be president.

Nikki Glaser’s Goodbye(?) Gave Us The Laughs And The Feels

Not Safe with Nikki Glaser is a treasure of a show. But sadly this season has come to an end, and nobody – not even the Glaze – knows if the show is gonna get another one.

So Nikki used her monologue this week to give us a few parting words of wisdom. Things like ‘don’t call a vagina a front bottom’ and ‘talk about sex, because if we’re silent anyone can fill that void with their own personal hang-ups’. Oh, and ‘be careful with your Monistat caps’. Keeping our fingers crossed for more Nikki real soon!!