This week has been like when you’re in line for the zip line at summer camp and then you decide ‘eh maybe this is actually too scary’ and then someone just shoves you off the platform and you’re like ‘OH NO IT’S ALL HAPPENING’. It’s been like that.
But gosh dang it we made it to Friday, and if that’s not a reason to treat ourselves to some tweets, what even is?
Girls rule boys drool dear god what did they give the boys are they going to be ok somebody call poison control this is not normal BOYS NO☠️
— Charley Feldman (@charley_feldman) June 7, 2017
“lordy I hope there are tapes” is the old white guy equivalent of “i wish a bitch would”
— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 8, 2017
Just unfollowed a man whom I thought was smart and funny, because he called Theresa May a whore. 1/14
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 9, 2017
I decided to delete every tweet where I told people to go fuck themselves. It’s taking forever and I’m only back to May so far
— Erika Heidewald ? (@erikaheidewald) June 9, 2017
Loved Wonder Woman but it was weird when she broke the fourth wall to say “My existence is not a referendum on female directors or feminism”
— Andi Zeisler (@andizeisler) June 5, 2017
Trump vows to bring back coal jobs; in his admin, 442 jobs are vacant b/c he won’t nominate! He can’t even employ people in jobs that exist!
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) June 7, 2017
i am a good depression pic.twitter.com/BgMQr93UN1
— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) June 8, 2017
NO WONDER WHITE MEN ARE SO OBSCENELY CONFIDENT ALL THE TIME I SAW ONE WOMAN HERO MOVIE AND I’M READY TO FIGHT A THOUSAND DUDES BAREHANDED
— meg s.s. (@megsauce) June 4, 2017
1st dates are fun because not only do u get to hide your social anxiety from a stranger over $15 drinks, u also get a liiittle closer to dea
— stephanie ritter (@stephanieritter) June 7, 2017
If you hide in a trash can at Arby’s and get locked there overnight, you own that Arby’s. That’s the only legal way Arby’s can change owners
— beth argyropoulos (@bourgeoisalien) June 4, 2017
1st dates are fun because not only do u get to hide your social anxiety from a stranger over $15 drinks, u also get a liiittle closer to dea
— stephanie ritter (@stephanieritter) June 7, 2017
Mansplaining pic.twitter.com/sGWpkuLTb8
— Ceda Shiiiiiiiiong (@slobear) June 8, 2017
Just looking for a nice guy who’ll tell me, “you wouldn’t know a nice guy if he beat you upside your own pussy, you fucking cunt whore.”
— batkaren (@batkaren) June 9, 2017
Facebook- I’m engaged!
Instagram- I’m on vacation!
Twitter- I wish I was dead and also I watch wrestling— Cork Rockingham (@corihealey) June 5, 2017
