5 Things You Can Blame On It Being Friday the 13th

Oooh, spooky! It’s a Friday the 13th in October, and for sure all kinds of terrifying and dreadful things are going to happen today. But there is one silver lining to this frightening random coincidence of dates. And it’s that you can blame every shitty thing that happens today on astrology. Read on for some inspiration on how to blame it all on Friday the 13th.

Your hair!

Sure, you haven’t showered in roughly four days. But that’s not the reason your hair is all greasy and tangled. It’s because of this accursed date getting all up in your follicles. Doy!


Getting dumped!


Did you fight a lot? Yes. Did he refuse to let you call him your boyfriend for the whole 8 months you dated? Sure. But Matt didn’t dump you because of relationship problems, it’s totally for sure because of this very spooky number on the calendar! Also Mercury is probably in retrograde again!


Being really pissed off all day!


Go ahead girl. Snap at your loud co-worker. Cut someone off on the drive home tonight. Lie in bed making an enemies list instead of going out. Literally nothing you do today is your responsibility, cuz some old Roman or something decided this was an unlucky day.


Those parking tickets!


Excuse me? Local city government? Yeah these aren’t getting paid. Park wherever you want today, because all of this date’s tickets are for sure totally attributable to this wicked date. They can’t ticket you if it’s the universe’s fault you were in a red zone!


Just like the whole entire state of the world right now!


There’s a lot of male bullshit going on in the world right now. Trump, Weinstein, the fact that Viagra is covered under insurance and not birth control. But what if, just maybe, it’s the evil influence of this Friday the 13th stretching back all the way to the 90’s! And when we wake up tomorrow, this’ll all be over! Well ok prob not, but a girl can dream ok?!?!?!