Yesterday’s Ew Is Tomorrow’s Aaaah

Getting older is THE BEST. You stop giving a shit about what people think, you have more money, and old dudes suddenly look hot to you. Carmen Lynch makes a really good case for growing older, and also for being in therapy. So pretty much everything we’re doing already. Yay!

Weekly Roundup of the Funniest Freakin Tweets

We are done with the conventions and the weekend is almost here. If that’s not a reason to celebrate with some funny tweets, honestly, what even is???

 

We’ll do yoga every day Michelle pleeeeeaaassseeee.

 

Does your family have an emergency plan in case of this very real and genuine emergency?

 

What’s the word for rage+grief+despair. Riefspair?

 

Don’t wanna know about anything that happened at Comic Con other than this, ok? Ok.

 

Grangran noooooooooooooo!!!

 

Never forget (your hollow useless childhood triumphs).

 

😧😞😡

 

This is our new favorite text.

 

Also us grocery shopping well into our 30’s hahahhahaha oops!

 

Sometimes loving a show means knowing it will let you down. Maybe not this time tho?

How DO they do it??

 

Who’s a good boy? Who wants a treat? Tom Hardy’s a good boy!

 

Welp, time to start trolling every smart outspoken man on the internet!

 

IN SPITE OF THEIR WEAK MALE BODIES they really have done a bang up job.

 

Weekly Roundup Of The Best Tweets

It’s been a week, y’all. Thank goddess for all the funny women who help us get through. Let’s make each other laugh, huh?

It’s like we always say, literally anyone can end up in Congress.

I got out of bed today plz validate me now.

 

How anyone made it through the Tony’s without sobbing like Lin-Manuel is a true mystery.

This is very funny and also makes us very nervous because what if he does?

Punk is a state of mind. (But also, no).

Where were you when you found out about Swiddles Beachgate?

This but also with girls with thick eyebrows.

CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS 🌸🌺🌼🌻💐😍

Of the venereal diseases, which is your fave? We like scabies.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to ghosting.

‘You go girl, you’re a queen, such a babe, don’t need a man, so gorg’ (ugh I’m garbage) – us

~bolts over to medicine cabinet in a panic~

Wow is this what it’s like to be famous??? Another reason to be more like Peretti.

Also when you get to first base you have to kiss.

Let’s be real it would be all left swipes.


The High Sparrow is also Larry David, in case anyone was wondering.