This week hit us harder than a Republican body slamming a journalist. Thank gosh it’s over, because we are about to fall headfirst in to this long weekend like –
But first, the tweets! And this week’s jokes from lady tweeters were especially hilarious. Get your funny fix, then go get your Friday night.
why do straight boys get so pressed about “health concerns” of plus size women?? you almost gave urself alcohol poisoning last night, josh
— 🍭 (@shweeni_bby) May 22, 2017
i think it was generous of mark zuckerberg to address this year’s graduating class of monopoly men pic.twitter.com/fkoylm3apn
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) May 25, 2017
Women’s biggest fear: being a “bitch”
Women’s second biggest fear: getting murdered because we didn’t speak up about something
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) May 26, 2017
— Nichole ✨✨✨ (@tnwhiskeywoman) May 24, 2017
In her Wellesley speech, Hillary has made Pizzagate and impeachment jokes and I think she just made a mean handshake joke? This is a roast.
— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) May 26, 2017
My mom’s dog has the exact same, “I’m not mad you’re home late, I was just WORRIED” face as her. pic.twitter.com/Mo4TpqCGqu
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) May 22, 2017
If this is what Taylor Kitsch looks like, just imagine how handsome Taylor Art would be!!!
— Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) May 25, 2017
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 24, 2017
Need a liquid lip that can last all day through all of the kisses I give my dog.
— Jackie Johnson (@Jackie_Michele) May 25, 2017
I wish I was at the marketing meeting where they decided we should all want to fuck m&ms pic.twitter.com/GprvsX2BjE
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) May 22, 2017
Will I ever find a love like this pic.twitter.com/MoQ06JBIKV
— Shira (@shiraselko) May 26, 2017
— Stacey Renee (@StaceofBase20) May 25, 2017
[rearranges room] this better cure the depression i’ve had since i was 15
— Grace Spelman (@GraceSpelman) May 24, 2017
Imagine being a dude who quizzes women about the bands on their shirts but is totally cool w white people wearing headdresses to music fests
— Claire Lower (@clairelizzie) May 25, 2017
NAME A MORE ICONIC SCENE ILL WAIT pic.twitter.com/KLbcUY3a0F
— ana (@astrolance) May 24, 2017
Sometimes I have to “Aww baby, what is you doin” myself.
— Issa Rae (@IssaRae) May 25, 2017
don’t just add My Little Ponies to any random thing. there is no way they care about the same shit you do pic.twitter.com/tCzbXSodFC
— Connieshin (@thatconnieshin) May 25, 2017
The best thing about being a mom is probably the fact that no one can tell if you’re drunk or if you just text like that
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 24, 2017