Raise your hand if you need a drink and a slice of cake pronto.
Yeah us too. But while we wait for the bars and all night diners to open, let’s reminisce on this insane week with the very best tweets from hilarious women.
I’m starting to think my “coexist” bumper sticker isn’t working
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 14, 2017
im chillin pic.twitter.com/8T8Vd8Q4JV
— Carina Hsieh (@carinahsieh) August 14, 2017
🚨 🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 🚨
Steve Bannon becomes first person to hate Black people **AND** Trump!
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) August 18, 2017
Please, I go by Bob now pic.twitter.com/W5B7Tdoy5t
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 18, 2017
If you have sex during Halloween would it be a monster mash or a graveyard smash?????
— isabel (@pasta_mami) August 17, 2017
Unbelievable. He actually did bring the Middle East together. pic.twitter.com/miP9MyVLsS
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 17, 2017
THIS WHITE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME JUST BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND FOR NOT PROTESTING WITH HER AND CALLED HIM A “COMPLACENT RACIST BUM”
— Nadia Souada (@nasouada) August 17, 2017
Conservative dipshit: if we remove confederate statues next we’ll have to remo–
Me: yes. however you end that sentence is likely dope.
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 17, 2017
I only have four moods pic.twitter.com/qi7wD8G38V
— haikatte🥄 (@haikatte) August 13, 2017
this is it. the worst tinder bio ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/NdJuyc7zam
— 21 days (@femmepizza) August 16, 2017
me: ‘i’m never drinking ever again’
*gets a text message*
‘u coming out tonight??’
— 💕 (@Princessofwifi) August 18, 2017
Trump’s clearly got abannonment issues
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) August 18, 2017
Look – fucking more people of races different from your own won’t fix America. But, I mean – before you go to work ya gotta eat.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) August 16, 2017
This is what happens when men have creative control.
A butt crack on top of another butt crack. pic.twitter.com/nrcd75xpY9
— Beth Elderkin (@BethElderkin) August 17, 2017
2011 me: magnets: how do they work!? lol.
2017 me: our juggalo comrades are a strong & necessary flank in the fight against fascism
— dana bill (@danacbell) August 17, 2017
Nazis are mad they’re losing their heritage well maybe if u put spice in those casseroles & stopped quoting caddyshack u’d be more fun.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) August 15, 2017