Monday was approximately 1.8 billion years ago. We are about to hit this weekend HARD with our girls, tbh.
Get in the mood for some wild weekend relaxation with our hilarious tweet round-up from this wacko week.
Vertigo, schadenfreude, numbness & dread, the four Trump-era humors.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) May 16, 2017
Roses are red
Trump is mean pic.twitter.com/EFg9Q1jcSh
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) May 16, 2017
“repeat after me: ‘you’re a proud, fearless peacock, and you’re gonna do great today.’ now go out there and be somebody!” pic.twitter.com/4cI5oE89ES
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) May 17, 2017
I dgaf if men wear rompers. Men can do whatever they want as long as they do not speak to me
— Allegra Ringo (@allegraringo) May 19, 2017
Friend: Don’t agree with him so he knows you have your own mind…
Him: The sky is so beautiful.
Me: No it’s not.
— Ivsy (@Ivsy01) May 14, 2017
Remember when people were pissed at Obama for mentioning “arugula”? I think about that a lot
— Lisa Hanawalt (@lisadraws) May 18, 2017
My baby is a week old and I haven’t even dropped my phone on his face yet so maybe this will be the kid I don’t ruin.
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) May 19, 2017
me knowing there are ppl out there who hate my guts and i will never know who they are pic.twitter.com/rWCt0Z65mP
— Giuliana 🖤 (@Princessofwifi) May 18, 2017
For women’s bathing suits it’s like, “shape” and “conceal” and “accentuate.” For men, it’s “store your balls in this mesh lining. Have fun!”
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 18, 2017
When a fellow black girl lovingly calls you “bitch” for the first time pic.twitter.com/ZkezKNSncD
— DaMinnie Jo (@xoxoxMinnie) May 18, 2017
I’m an animal in bed.
More specifically, a koala.
I can sleep for 18 hours a day.
— ShewantstheD (@Disfordilaudid) May 16, 2017
WALK INTO THE PARTY LIKE pic.twitter.com/CTox5C16uP
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) May 17, 2017
My main crush rn is actually a stock photo closeup of an interracial handshake
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 19, 2017
Just found the transcript of the speech Trump’s about to give: pic.twitter.com/vYy06lxIDw
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) May 18, 2017
did u know that everyone u thought was good is probably actually bad?
— jamie loftus (@hamburgerphone) May 17, 2017
It’s called free speech, mom pic.twitter.com/gzZ0G4hweG
— Molly (@Molly_Kats) May 17, 2017