2017 has already been tumultuous as all hell, y’all. But if there’s anything to celebrate, it’s funny women doing what they do best. And plus, IT’S FRIDAY! So are we still gonna party?
no need to drop the ball tonight
2016’s done enough of that already
BA DUM TSSSSS
— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) December 31, 2016
Of all the burns on 2016, this is maybe the best one.
I want to be the one to look into Paul Ryan’s big blue eyes and tell him with absolute certainty “You will never be president.”
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) January 6, 2017
Film it please.
Shout out to The Washington Post Express who accidentally put the MALE symbol for the WOMAN’S march on their cover today pic.twitter.com/xGS0XE8RTd
— Kimberly Betsill (@kimmybetsill) January 5, 2017
Kimberly is very funny but in this case, the original picture is the best joke of all.
I found my tenth grade English class journal, everyone pic.twitter.com/cFFqSfgLie
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) January 3, 2017
God Mara Wilson is such a gift to the world.
— Gabby Bess (@seemstween) January 6, 2017
Who knew there were so many horrible flavors of old white man?!
If you have to wait more than 20 minutes to pick up a prescription, they should hand out free samples of Xanax while you wait.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 6, 2017
Honestly every store should hand out free Xanax samples for the next four years.
End of 2016: this couldn’t get any worse
End of 2018: I’m excited to start my new position as Aryan Brood Mare! Nice sheets and xtra rations
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) January 6, 2017
Sometimes they let us read a book that isn’t the Bible!!!
Me: I couldn’t eat another thing.
Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) January 3, 2017
Who’s this narrator and is she free this weekend?
beards are just…bananas. you just grow that hair out your face! so fast! that you have to shave it! almost daily?! amazing.
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) January 6, 2017
Me: Everyone is complaining about 2016. Luckily, I was too drunk to remember most of it.
AA: Ursula, we talked about appropriate topics.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s)🎭 (@3sunzzz) December 31, 2016
Look if you made it through the year without a drinking problem, hats off to ya bb.
do you ever look at your cat and think “oh god you’re the cutest thing alive” and then it licks its anus while maintaining eye contact
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) January 4, 2017
If I go to the bathroom without checking my phone did I even go
— Logan Guntzelman (@adirtyguntz) January 5, 2017
And how will we find boyfriends without Tindering on the toilet?!?!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and some days I still look at him wondering if he’s ever talked to a girl.
— Not My President (@missmayn) January 3, 2017
Awwwwwwww (ok nvm it’s rad to be single honestly).
Good morning being a woman is a nightmare pic.twitter.com/8HIkgUvzOT
— Paige Weldon (@paigeweldon) January 2, 2017
Oh wow still?!?!
Immigrant parents never say they’re proud of you. You gotta eavesdrop on family phone calls just to know they’re kinda okay about you.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) January 4, 2017
‘Ok now take these tupperwares of food back with you to your filthy apartment’.
I would like to take this moment to announce that I, too, will not be paying for that fucken wall
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) January 6, 2017
Yeah let’s all go on record with this.
Only acceptable thing for Hillary to do at the inauguration is steal the mic and sing “Last Midnight” from Into The Woods
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 4, 2017
GOD PLEASE GIVE US THIS WE’VE EARNED IT