Whooooooo’s ready for the weekend???
Oh thank friggin god we’re almost there. But while we wait for sweet sweet Saturday, let these funny tweets wash you away on a tide of giggles.
i regret to inform you i am exactly, unrepentantly like the other girls
— jamie loftus (@hamburgerphone) October 6, 2016
No need to repent for perfection.
my inability to pick up on basic social cues
— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) October 6, 2016
LICK MY P – oh sorry yeah this one is more relatable.
Is the sequel ever as good as the original ? pic.twitter.com/ys5gNc0HkU
— DeeEmmElms CaliStyle (@d_m_elms) October 6, 2016
Oh shit. OH SHIT.
Thought I was a cool friend until I almost made a “talking points” list in my notes app for this hang tonight.
— Beth Alexandroff (@bethalexandroff) October 1, 2016
Hahahah yeah our social anxiety is fun and trendy now, right guys? Guys?
Mike Pence looks like he’s killed a man with a hammer; Tim Kaine looks like he’s lost all of his money buying magic beans
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) October 5, 2016
This is a devastatingly accurate synopsis of the debate, MSNBC please hire her.
Is there a real difference between jogging and trying not to get hit by a car?
— Brittany (@Brittacus) October 3, 2016
Jogging you wear a cute sweatband.
Q. What is your experience as a woman film critic?
— Alex Heller-Nicholas (@suspirialex) October 6, 2016
Yet another way internet trolls are like horrible movie monsters.
“Mom. Can you come pick me up? I don’t feel good, my stomach hurts. I KNOW it’s 2:30am. Just come get me. I don’t like it here” – Ted Cruz pic.twitter.com/mMvFykEdiR
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) October 6, 2016
Honestly our hearts ache for little Teddy all the dang time.
BEWARE OF PPLS INSTAGRAM STORIES THAT LOOK LIKE THIS:
— AWKWAFINA (@awkwafina) October 3, 2016
You 👏 Don’t👏 Need👏 15👏 Different👏 Stories 👏
Everyone knows horses are just fuckable cows.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) October 1, 2016
This is a very upsetting tweet that is also very correct. Now bring us a horse so we can touch it’s soft mane.
Admit it, we’ve all been one carb short of murder.
— Lacey Nycole (@LaceyNycole) October 3, 2016
Office bagels = us not going Bobbitt on everyone.
no thank you Juliet was an idiot and so was her boyfriend https://t.co/XO1qJawdEF
— farwz (@farwzaz) October 5, 2016
HOT DAMN if all literary criticism was this salty we’d all be professors.
“My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” – Kanye West, also me
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) October 7, 2016
We’re actually sad for Heben come to think of this.
Or you could just stop wearing a possessed bikini? pic.twitter.com/ogW3bXOIbk
— Vanessa Bayer (@vanessabayer) October 7, 2016
But it was on saaaaaaaale 😒
Had an important meeting yesterday, but the person I was meeting hugged me in the lobby & it stopped feeling important.
— Bridgid Ryan (@bridgidry) October 5, 2016
How did it turn out though Bridgid we need to know!?!?!
Dear Lord, may I one day have the confidence of Rihanna walking out of restaurants with full wine glasses. Amen.
— Nina Concepción (@ninamconcepcion) October 7, 2016
New bedtime prayer.
In retrospect, I would be livid if somebody told me a song was going to change my life and then played me The Shins.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) October 6, 2016
Ugh can you even imagine? Zach Braff is basic af.
(crying) She was just waiting with flowers and then she saw Ross get off the plane with Julie.
(writing) Currently menstruating.
— Mel Gabor (@melgabored) October 3, 2016
How dare you! But also yes correct. But also please hold me.
I love making older white men mad by telling them I hate Billy Joel. #JustTheWayYouAreIsAwful
— LADYBIRDJ (@ladybirdj) October 6, 2016
Let’s be frank, making older white men mad is the greatest sport of all.
I spend half my life watching gifs over and over going, “There’s no way their mouths are saying the words in the caption.”
— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) October 5, 2016
YES YES FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!!