The Funniest Friggin Tweets Of The Week

Introducing an extra spooky edition of the WhoHaha tweet roundup!

Just kidding, the only spooky thing about these tweets is how scary funny they are! Like how do these women do it? How do they be this funny? All we know is, we’ll be re-tweeting these til Monday morning.

me: I think I love u, lol
him: why did u add lol
me: did I? lmao

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) April 13, 2018

Between Leggo my Eggo, Lucky Charms, the Trix Rabbit, and the wolf of Cookie Crisp, the message from breakfast companies is clear: wake up and be immediately scared of theft

— Heather Anne Campbell (@heathercampbell) April 13, 2018

Well, definitely not Women’s Studies. https://t.co/Y5ZRwnWyli

— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) April 9, 2018

Can this girl I haven’t talked to since high school’s new husband please take his Instagram off private.

— SydSteinberg (@thesteinberglar) April 9, 2018

Me any time I’m tagged in a friend’s photo. pic.twitter.com/h3djIyjoXH

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 13, 2018

welcome to my gender reveal party. my reveal is that gender is a construct. also im not pregnant. i will be keeping your gifts. please leave my home.

— jamie loftus (@jamieloftusHELP) April 8, 2018

my only four moods pic.twitter.com/rZ3JsX60FR

— Jennaclaire (@jennaaclaire) April 5, 2018

I love dogs because they also often don’t trust strange men

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 10, 2018

Thank you, Mom, for teaching me how to read and how to be a fan, and also teaching me how to hold a 35-year grudge. ? pic.twitter.com/VeKEzlK57q

— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) April 12, 2018

Queer twitter the moment @JanelleMonae released #PYNK pic.twitter.com/zkadQo4LLu

— Dened Rey (@Hajabeg) April 10, 2018

Tom from MySpace knew when to call it quits and now is just a simple millionaire who travels the world with his hot girlfriend.

— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) April 11, 2018

I need people on twitter to stop telling me to “let that sink in.” I get it, it’s bad. It’s sunk in, it’s in my pores, I’m in the sink-in place!

— Naomi Ekperigin (@Blacktress) April 10, 2018

not to brag but this bird just proposed to me pic.twitter.com/ou2sqVbeBD

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) April 11, 2018

imagine joining a non-sex cult then discovering sex cults exist

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 10, 2018

Someone just asked me what dating in LA is like and I told them that the last guy I asked out said yes but then never set a date and then six months later asked me to do his podcast AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHAT DATING IN LA IS LIKE

— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) April 12, 2018

The Weekly Funny Tweet Round-Up

Gosh bless whoever invented weekends. Pretty sure it was either the Greeks or like old timey garment workers unions. One of those.

Big mood. ANYWAY the weekend is here and it’s time to celebrate! Grab a mimosa, and make sure to follow these funny women on Twitter for a guaranteed perfect weekend.

do I do my eyebrows

or do my eyebrows do me

— quinta b. (@quintabrunson) March 6, 2018

some of you youths are gonna be real disappointed when u discover that turning 30 just means you still have all the same weird interests but can’t turn your head all the way to the left anymore

— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) March 6, 2018

Amazing, Norman Rockwell invented Twitter pic.twitter.com/NZRenxlUMr

— Kate Preusser (@1nceagain2zelda) March 7, 2018

Me: hi
Random white guy: my wife is Asian so I know that in your culture what you mean is hi, hello, how are you today, a greeting
Me: ok
Him: …rice meditation Buddha dragons red paper lantern

— Wendy Xu (@wendyX) March 3, 2018

Like, do male writers get these kinds of responses? pic.twitter.com/SDjfJ6HEaS

— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) March 7, 2018

“I would like to thank my wife, my kids, my side pieces, & the one woman I def assaulted.” #Oscar2018

— Kay Cannon (@KayKayCannon) March 5, 2018

[future history class]

Teacher: How did World War 3 start? Anyone? Yes, Khaleesi.

Girl: It started bec-

Teacher: No, I meant Khaleesi M. She had her hand up first.

Girl 2: It started because president Trump was hangry.

Teacher: Correct. [holsters gun]

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 3, 2018

Haters gonna hate, but they’re also gonna love, gonna experience loneliness sometimes, gonna be multi-faceted people who are gonna need some kindness from the rest of us.

— Selena Coppock (@SelenaCoppock) March 9, 2018

me showing up to rupaul’s drag race castings as an out & proud member of the trains community pic.twitter.com/zKLo6Ut2DV

— chrysanthemum tran (@chrystran) March 6, 2018

sometimes you gotta “ooooh noo, baby, what is you doing?!” yourself

— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) March 4, 2018

hey it’s actually pronounced “gaslighting.” Soft “g.” Like “gif”

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) October 5, 2017

It’s ok if they just keep talking forever and there are no more awards tonight pic.twitter.com/TrlBqF7Xqa

— Emily Yoshida (@emilyyoshida) March 5, 2018

you don’t think it’s weird that we exist?

— melissa broder (@melissabroder) March 5, 2018

Best picture pic.twitter.com/Q5kbeduzUL

— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) March 5, 2018

Older siblings are the original Influencers. When I was little my brother said sausage pizza was gross and I didn’t eat it again for 20 years.

— Lauren Lapkus ? (@laurenlapkus) March 7, 2018

Respect to my printer, always claiming it’s busy when it’s not doing a damn thing

— Eileen Curtright (@eileencurtright) March 5, 2018

thanks pic.twitter.com/MoBDDycNAl

— Katie Tiedrich (@katietiedrich) March 6, 2018

Yesterday I stopped to pet a dog, and as the owner walked away I heard him say to her, “You see? Everybody loves you! And you don’t even love yourself!!!” and I’m going to be thinking about it for the next five years

— Liz Watson (@watsontots) March 5, 2018