Weekly Roundup Of The Funniest Tweets

Whether you’re snowed under or sweating out the drought, we know you need some tasty tweets to make it through the weekend. In fact, you deserve great tweets every week. Why? Because you’re great.

Ok, enjoy!

 

Also v chill that the answer is usually ‘yes’!

 

Except that now we’re all witches so at least there’s that.

 

“Idk like be more evil somehow??” – Shkreli to his empty house

 

🍟🌱😒

 

God damn so true. And also comment on how on-topic the piano songs are.

 

Finally, a show for the fellas!

 

Nah girl you’re good.

 

Yeah, tweets like ‘you’re garbage’ and ‘no one respects you’ and that one tweet of his face looking extra stupid. Be a shame if everyone reading this right now tweeted those things.

 

Aka self-care.

 

It’s a matter of principle!

 

Boy bye!*

*Time is the boy.

 

We’d watch the hell out of that with a glass of rosé.

 

WHO WAS THIS GENIUS WHAT WAS HER NAME???

 

10/10 for this perfect tweet.

 

And just like the Avengers, we gotta build better armor and recruit some cool sassy teens to the cause.

Don’t You Dare Say Happy Halloween

Holler at our witches! We need to talk about the real war on religion in this country. The far right would have us believe that saying ‘Happy holidays’ is anti-Baby Jesus. But what about the offensive PC culture keeping Wiccans down?? It’s time to talk about how Halloween is just a cover-up of the far witchier and far cooler All Hallows Eve. Our thanks to Michael Busch, Katie Molinaro, Rachael Mason, Taylor Orci, Katy Dolle and Jamie Loftus for being brave enough to start this important conversation.

Get Yourself Some Nerd Lovin

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today.

Jk, actually Jackie Kashian is what brings us together. She’s been doing standup comedy for a long long time, which is a lil part of why she’s one of the funniest comics in the game today. We respect the heck out of Jackie K, and we friggin love her material on dating, nerds, loving nerds, spoons, pets, and crazy LA weirdos.