You Gotta Stand By Your Hand

Finally, a country song we can really get behind. The visionary weirdos of sketch team Uncle Garbage have written a ballad about the truest kind of love – the love between a woman and her hand. It made us cry with laughter. You really need to watch the whole thing all the way to the end.

*Also this is so unbelievably NSFW, but only because we live in a cruel cold world where you’re not supposed to talk about rubbing one out in the workplace.

Hey, Is This SNL’s Greatest Sketch Ever?

Remember way back in TV history, when dinosaurs roamed ABC, and women were always the girlfriends or wives or disapproving moms? Well that time is looooooooong gone, baby.

We watch this sketch about gross mermaids every time we need a little reminder that the ladies rule SNL these days, and also just comedy in general.

Who Needs Love When You’ve Got Settling.com!

Online dating is based on lies. Lies like ‘love’ and ‘happiness’. Wouldn’t you rather use a website that understands that all you want is to not eat dinner alone for the rest of your life?

Lucky for you, Janine Hogan and Erwin Street created just that website! Settling.com is for those of us who have pretty much given up on true love and will now accept someone (anyone) to show up to parties with. Thanks, guys!