Maya. Emma. Tubs of Butter.

We’re so lucky to live in a world with butter. It makes toast bearable, it lubes up ears of corn, it’s the secret ingredient behind croissants (croissants of course being proof that God loves us).

And now because of Maya & Marty, we know that butter tubs are the perfect accompaniment to the gorgeous voices of two of the funniest women ever to live, Maya Rudolph and Emma Stone.

Thank you, butter, for all that you do.

 

The Funniest Freakin Tweets of The Week

HEADING INTO THE WEEKEND LIKE…

But before we get there, enjoy the very freshest tweets of the week!

 

 

‘Stella Got Her Groove Back’ but for a woman who dumped herself, get on that Hollywood

 

Somebody get her a syringe of kale pulp STAT.

 

We need, in reverse order: duck, popcorn, women doing sports

 

The Mad Prez is a pretty tight rap name, honestly.

 

Oh thiiiiiis is what Snapchat is for

 

Ragnarok, guns out.

 

Savage. Savage and accurate.

 

Finally got woke 10 minutes before we had to go to bed yeesh.

 

Hmm makes u think.

 

COME BACK AND BRING US THAT SHIIIIIIIRT

 

What happened here how did this end we need to know?!?!

 

Time for that post-lunch emotional breakdown!

 

Medium espresso is better than medium sex, let’s get real here.

 

Can’t wait for it to be turned to into a book called ‘The Woman Who Never Cried and Was Always Chill’

 

image via

Weekly Roundup Of The Best Tweets

It’s been a week, y’all. Thank goddess for all the funny women who help us get through. Let’s make each other laugh, huh?

It’s like we always say, literally anyone can end up in Congress.

I got out of bed today plz validate me now.

 

How anyone made it through the Tony’s without sobbing like Lin-Manuel is a true mystery.

This is very funny and also makes us very nervous because what if he does?

Punk is a state of mind. (But also, no).

Where were you when you found out about Swiddles Beachgate?

This but also with girls with thick eyebrows.

CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS 🌸🌺🌼🌻💐😍

Of the venereal diseases, which is your fave? We like scabies.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to ghosting.

‘You go girl, you’re a queen, such a babe, don’t need a man, so gorg’ (ugh I’m garbage) – us

~bolts over to medicine cabinet in a panic~

Wow is this what it’s like to be famous??? Another reason to be more like Peretti.

Also when you get to first base you have to kiss.

Let’s be real it would be all left swipes.


The High Sparrow is also Larry David, in case anyone was wondering.