Ceda Xiong is so funny it hurts. Her standup has taken her all over the dang country, and she’s performed at festivals and colleges and bars and everything in between. Partly we love her because she’s a fearless badass, and partly we love her because she can make anything hilarious, from immigration to her family to mattress fires. We’re so stoked that she’s our creator of the week, stay tuned for more from Ceda on our Twitter and Facebook! The more Ceda the betta, honestly.
Everyone doing ok? Everybody hanging in there and drinking water and taking care of each other?
We’re gonna make it through, everybody. And if you need a second to giggle, give these tweets a little look see. We love you, ok?
’08: Perhaps I’ll watch the election results at a bar close to my home
’16: Perhaps I’ll wander the freeways of Los Angeles covered in blood
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) November 7, 2016
Better stock up on science books while they’re still legal.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) November 9, 2016
I guess I don’t give a shit about Hillary’s emails because I have a much bigger email scandal on my hands pic.twitter.com/N4wm0ZxdFP
— Erika Heidewald (@erikaheidewald) November 7, 2016
Trump speaking his mind isn’t refreshing, it’s appalling. Coca Cola is refreshing…
— Carrie Fisher (@carrieffisher) November 6, 2016
Remember when Romney referring to his binders full of women was the most offensive thing a presidential candidate had said about a woman? 😂😭
— Erin Coleman (@universalcenter) November 5, 2016
Our new national anthem should be “Back in the USSR”
— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) November 10, 2016
Last dude I boned voting for Jill Stein. So I’m looking for a new “last dude I boned.” Gotta cleanse that palate.
— Marcy Jarreau (@MarcyLane) November 9, 2016
Joe: “What if we take batteries out of all of the remotes before we leave”
Barack:” Joe we can’t-”
Joe: “Or we could cut all the cords” pic.twitter.com/SHrCkr8ZPs
— MistyKnightsTwistOut (@Steph_I_Will) November 11, 2016
We have elected the equivalent of a spam email to the highest office
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 11, 2016
“kanye and crying” is my “netflix and chill”
— Gabby Bess (@seemstween) November 4, 2016
One day I woke up and just felt like running. That day was Nov 9th. pic.twitter.com/kfVNdRZJBT
— beth loves cake, so (@bourgeoisalien) November 11, 2016
I’m already getting ready to side-eye all the celebrities who skip their asses into the Trump White House for parties and photo ops.
— KB (@KaraRBrown) November 11, 2016
We get it America, you’re still racist
— Pugnado (@LuvPug) November 9, 2016
Y’all are so convinced your jokes are funny enough to skewer a man whose policies will kill millions. No joke is. Fight in sincerity, too.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 11, 2016
OH DIP IT’S THE WEEKEND!!!!
There were moments of this week that it felt like we’d never make it. But here we are, on Friday afternoon, almost to party o’clock. We all deserve a treat, is what we’re tryna say here. And what better treat than the very best tweets from funny women!
I’ve been in a locker room. Know what we talked about in there? Swimming. We talked about swimming.
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) October 7, 2016
when u realize u can’t afford ur life style . when ur gonna keep goin anyway pic.twitter.com/QU9UomzE6g
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 10, 2016
boys: let’s sneak into the girl’s locker room!
girls: let’s burn down the boys locker room
— Bez (@Bez) October 11, 2016
I could stop eating these fries right now and not feel too sick to move. Or!
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) October 10, 2016
— annie mebane (@anniemebane) October 14, 2016
This week has been hard, so maybe try breathing in time to this gif I found of Drake sleeping in a warm stack of pancakes. pic.twitter.com/xuSsmmSwsO
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) October 14, 2016
listen. i’m not saying trump’s not a moron. but it works pic.twitter.com/5lFd8xgGNA
— cassandra (@cassbwell) October 10, 2016
Religious conservatives who are voting Trump are gonna be so pissed when they find out God’s a woman.
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) October 14, 2016
Person – “How did you find him not guilty? There were witnesses and a video of the assault.”
Juror – “Yes, but they were in a locker room.”
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) October 10, 2016
how do i nominate this headline for the mark twain humor award pic.twitter.com/2hnTr47ZDv
— Ali V. (@alivingiano) October 6, 2016
Our leaders answering a question kids answer in the principal’s office after shooting rubber bands at each other pic.twitter.com/zsKzGtsp5a
— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) October 10, 2016
How To Feed 4 Kids On A Budget
— Li’l Edie Pentland (@JennyPentland) October 10, 2016
rules in my club pic.twitter.com/q5T332omv5
— Zoë Klar (@zoeklar) October 14, 2016
I started crying in the dining hall because I was laughing so hard after remembering Scooby Doo’s real name is “Scoobert Doobert”. pic.twitter.com/5Lo5btgj3B
— Jazlin (@glizziemcguire) October 12, 2016