The Weekly Funny Tweet Round-Up

Gosh bless whoever invented weekends. Pretty sure it was either the Greeks or like old timey garment workers unions. One of those.

Big mood. ANYWAY the weekend is here and it’s time to celebrate! Grab a mimosa, and make sure to follow these funny women on Twitter for a guaranteed perfect weekend.

do I do my eyebrows

or do my eyebrows do me

— quinta b. (@quintabrunson) March 6, 2018

some of you youths are gonna be real disappointed when u discover that turning 30 just means you still have all the same weird interests but can’t turn your head all the way to the left anymore

— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) March 6, 2018

Amazing, Norman Rockwell invented Twitter pic.twitter.com/NZRenxlUMr

— Kate Preusser (@1nceagain2zelda) March 7, 2018

Me: hi
Random white guy: my wife is Asian so I know that in your culture what you mean is hi, hello, how are you today, a greeting
Me: ok
Him: …rice meditation Buddha dragons red paper lantern

— Wendy Xu (@wendyX) March 3, 2018

Like, do male writers get these kinds of responses? pic.twitter.com/SDjfJ6HEaS

— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) March 7, 2018

“I would like to thank my wife, my kids, my side pieces, & the one woman I def assaulted.” #Oscar2018

— Kay Cannon (@KayKayCannon) March 5, 2018

[future history class]

Teacher: How did World War 3 start? Anyone? Yes, Khaleesi.

Girl: It started bec-

Teacher: No, I meant Khaleesi M. She had her hand up first.

Girl 2: It started because president Trump was hangry.

Teacher: Correct. [holsters gun]

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 3, 2018

Haters gonna hate, but they’re also gonna love, gonna experience loneliness sometimes, gonna be multi-faceted people who are gonna need some kindness from the rest of us.

— Selena Coppock (@SelenaCoppock) March 9, 2018

me showing up to rupaul’s drag race castings as an out & proud member of the trains community pic.twitter.com/zKLo6Ut2DV

— chrysanthemum tran (@chrystran) March 6, 2018

sometimes you gotta “ooooh noo, baby, what is you doing?!” yourself

— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) March 4, 2018

hey it’s actually pronounced “gaslighting.” Soft “g.” Like “gif”

— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) October 5, 2017

It’s ok if they just keep talking forever and there are no more awards tonight pic.twitter.com/TrlBqF7Xqa

— Emily Yoshida (@emilyyoshida) March 5, 2018

you don’t think it’s weird that we exist?

— melissa broder (@melissabroder) March 5, 2018

Best picture pic.twitter.com/Q5kbeduzUL

— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) March 5, 2018

Older siblings are the original Influencers. When I was little my brother said sausage pizza was gross and I didn’t eat it again for 20 years.

— Lauren Lapkus ? (@laurenlapkus) March 7, 2018

Respect to my printer, always claiming it’s busy when it’s not doing a damn thing

— Eileen Curtright (@eileencurtright) March 5, 2018

thanks pic.twitter.com/MoBDDycNAl

— Katie Tiedrich (@katietiedrich) March 6, 2018

Yesterday I stopped to pet a dog, and as the owner walked away I heard him say to her, “You see? Everybody loves you! And you don’t even love yourself!!!” and I’m going to be thinking about it for the next five years

— Liz Watson (@watsontots) March 5, 2018

do not fat shame an instagram corgi they will come for you pic.twitter.com/Q8kpjWoBE0

— julia reinstein (@juliareinstein) March 6, 2018

NEVER MAKE US CHOOSE BETWEEN ALLISON JANNEY AND LAURIE METCALF AGAIN

— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) March 5, 2018

Are You Watching The Earliest Show Yet?!?

Breaking news y’all. There’s a new show that we can’t stop watching, and it stars our forever girl crush Lauren Lapkus. It’s like if Between Two Ferns were a morning talk show and that talk show were hosted by Lapkus and Ben Schwartz and every episode was cringe-y and hilarious. You gotta start watching it asap, honestly.

Lauren Lapkus Is “The Single Celeb” For Netflix’s New Special, “The Characters”

Meet Whitney Peeps – the very strange star of The Single Celeb. Let’s just all take a moment to absorb the name “Whitney Peeps.”

Cool, everybody good? Let’s continue.

Peeps is the brainchild of comedian Lauren Lapkus, and makes an appearance in the new Netflix special, The Characters. In the vein of HBO and Netflix stand-up specials for comics, The Characters highlights sketch comedians on the rise. Each performer gets exactly one half hour to do whatever they please – there are no rules or expectations. Lapkus is known for her unique and zany characters on the Upright Citizens Brigade Stage, and Peeps is no exception.

With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus Is The Comedy Podcast You Need In Your Life

You might recognize comedian Lauren Lapkus from Orange Is The New Black as sweet officer Susan Fischer, or from summer blockbuster Jurassic World as the equally adorable and charming Vivian. Homegirl is an absolute charm machine, and is an improviser (along with being a powerhouse actress) at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles.

She also hosts one of the most hilarious podcasts around – “With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus.” The super unique and funny podcast is great because with each episode, Lauren (who is actually the host of the show), plays the “special guest.” It’s a completely improvised podcast and she has some of the best comedians on as guests, including Paul F. Tompkins, Cameron Esposito, and Andy Daly. Check out a recent episode below and let your ears be happy.