The absurdly talented sisters behind the Hillywood Show are back, with a parody so perfect it seriously feels like the real thing. But funkier. And if you never thought of Eleven as a super freak before, now you’ll never be able to get it out of your head. Take it away, ladies!
Dick Pics IRL
Isn’t wild how dudes who would never flash their genitals to a woman in public think it’s fine to do it via phone. Like what would happen if they actually had to deal with the consequences of their harassment? This fire sketch from Jennifer Levinson dares to ask that very question. And also brings his mom into the mix, because that’s what a bad bitch does.
The Week’s Funniest Tweets
Y’all, it’s starting to have that distinct ‘end of the world’ feeling out there. Natural disasters and political bullsh have us feeling like…
But at the end of the day, what unites us all and keeps us going is hilarious women making perfect internet jokes. So rest your weary heart with these insanely funny tweets.
When mom told me we were moving to the US I said to her “No mom, why that’s illegal.I’m 9 and I know the law. I’m stayin in Argentina alone”
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) September 6, 2017
It turns out the answer to my problems wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, but the important thing is that I tried.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 6, 2017
BREAKING: my fucking sanity.
— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) September 6, 2017
“anyway, here’s wonderwall” pic.twitter.com/2lyzZ5FTW6
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) September 7, 2017
High school teachers: I’m MRS. HARDASS and you will take me SERIOUSLY
College profs: what up I’m Josh and class is cancelled cuz I’m tired
— Momma Becca (@HBecca2017) September 5, 2017
Excuse me, yes, hi, I noticed our politics differ, so I was hoping I could unleash all the cumulative rage in my life onto your web presence
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 6, 2017
MY SISTER TEACHES CELLO
SHE REPORTS THAT HER NEW STUDENTS CALL SHARPS “HASHTAGS”
CONCERTO IN F HASHTAG
— Marian Call (@mariancall) September 6, 2017
Can I donate my period?
— Shannon O’Neill (@spotastic) September 7, 2017
Teen on street: Hey, lesbian!
Me: *turns around* Yep?
Teen: Oh, sorry.
Me: Why? You’re right. Do you need something?
Teen: No, ma’am.— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 6, 2017
This morning my doctor casually used the phrase “family planning” to me & my instinct was 2 be like LADY I’M 24 then remembered I’m 28. pic.twitter.com/v4AjpYeobL
— Nina Concepción (@ninamconcepcion) September 7, 2017
was i funnier five months ago or did my doctor just put me on too much adderall? a memoir
— Carina Hsieh (@carinahsieh) September 8, 2017
I wish I could charge Facebook $1 every time it made me sad
— Connieshin (@thatconnieshin) September 7, 2017
I just *invades country* don’t understand why *bombs them* the middle east *kills innocent people* is so *steals natural resources* unstable
— لمار Lam S. Al (@PapillonBelier) August 31, 2017
Me: I’ve had a tough day. Just go to sleep.
Brain: K
Me:
Brain:
Me:
Brain:
Me: *dozing off*
Brain: PETER PAN WAS TOTALLY A KIDNAPPER— JC Tarp (@jctwritesstuff) September 7, 2017
Etiquette lesson: this is how Italians eat spaghetti. #bullpeiattention pic.twitter.com/JMaN6c1sFD
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 7, 2017
If we raise men to be less aggressive and entitled who will staff mall kiosks
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) September 2, 2017
How To Get Trump To Read The News
Meet Chelsea Frei, American hero. While the press and White House staff scramble to try to get Trump to actually read a document or pay attention to a briefing, Chelsea has cracked the code on how to get our ‘president’ to pay attention. The key has been right in front of us this whole time…
This Week’s Very Funniest Tweets
Raise your hand if you need a drink and a slice of cake pronto.
Yeah us too. But while we wait for the bars and all night diners to open, let’s reminisce on this insane week with the very best tweets from hilarious women.
I’m starting to think my “coexist” bumper sticker isn’t working
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 14, 2017
im chillin pic.twitter.com/8T8Vd8Q4JV
— Carina Hsieh (@carinahsieh) August 14, 2017
? ? BREAKING NEWS ? ?
Steve Bannon becomes first person to hate Black people **AND** Trump!
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) August 18, 2017
Please, I go by Bob now pic.twitter.com/W5B7Tdoy5t
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 18, 2017
If you have sex during Halloween would it be a monster mash or a graveyard smash?????
— isabel (@pasta_mami) August 17, 2017
Unbelievable. He actually did bring the Middle East together. pic.twitter.com/miP9MyVLsS
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) August 17, 2017
THIS WHITE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME JUST BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND FOR NOT PROTESTING WITH HER AND CALLED HIM A “COMPLACENT RACIST BUM”
— Nadia Souada (@nasouada) August 17, 2017
Conservative dipshit: if we remove confederate statues next we’ll have to remo–
Me: yes. however you end that sentence is likely dope.— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 17, 2017
I only have four moods pic.twitter.com/qi7wD8G38V
— haikatte? (@haikatte) August 13, 2017
this is it. the worst tinder bio ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/NdJuyc7zam
— 21 days (@femmepizza) August 16, 2017
me: ‘i’m never drinking ever again’
*gets a text message*
‘u coming out tonight??’
me: pic.twitter.com/ULPnVRlWNA
— ? (@Princessofwifi) August 18, 2017
Trump’s clearly got abannonment issues
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) August 18, 2017
Look – fucking more people of races different from your own won’t fix America. But, I mean – before you go to work ya gotta eat.
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) August 16, 2017
This is what happens when men have creative control.
A butt crack on top of another butt crack. pic.twitter.com/nrcd75xpY9— Beth Elderkin (@BethElderkin) August 17, 2017
2011 me: magnets: how do they work!? lol.
2017 me: our juggalo comrades are a strong & necessary flank in the fight against fascism— dana bill (@danacbell) August 17, 2017
Nazis are mad they’re losing their heritage well maybe if u put spice in those casseroles & stopped quoting caddyshack u’d be more fun.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) August 15, 2017
Infinite Jest Will Literally Kill You
Infinite Jest is the seminal novel that tells the tale of a dystopian future America, in which the upper classes OH GOD IT’S SO BORING we can’t even finish this sentence. Reading David Foster Wallace’s masterpiece almost killed us in college. And as one book club finds out in this genius sketch from Nadia Osman, the book isn’t just deadly dull – it’s plain old deadly.